So I've decided to revamp my blog...again. I know, I know I keep changing it randomly, usually following a long lull between posts. Although this whole year between posts is a first I think. Either way I started thinking about what's gone on in my life in the past year and figured now is a good time for me to try to delve back into blogging and since it's been awhile  I think I have some blog post ideas that could keep me in posts for a few weeks.

The title change actually came from my good friend Holly. I needed to make it about being a mother but also about being an individual and she suggested changing the title to The Mommy in Me and I liked that. I decided to change Mommy to Mama because Mama is a term that my darling daughter (DD) came up with on her own and she tends to call me that only when it's endearing. Any time she whines or cries it's either Mommy or Mom. LoL

Some things that I will probably talk about in the next few blog posts:

• Working through a miscarriage that happened last year and my subsequent struggles to trust the Lord as I went through the grieving process, came out of it and now trusting the Lord that our next child will arrive at a time that is right for us, not when I want. 
• Our move from Winnipeg to Morden and the fun that was selling our house, moving our house and being able to live in our 'summer home' as we still search for the perfect house for us.
• As a result of the move being able to go from working part-time out of the home to becoming a stay at home mom (SAHM). I have thoughts on the pros and cons of this decision as well as thoughts on where I'd like to be in the future.
• Possibly some hints to things I have written or things I want to write. I've always loved writing and one day would like to have something substantial for possible publication. Right now I don't know that I'm brave enough to try and get anything published, but that just can't seem to stop me from writing.
• Last but not least my continuing journey as a mother. My DD teaches me new things every day which can sometimes be very amusing...I'll try to remember them all cause I know I'll love to read these things later on in life.

I would like to make sure it's understood that I by all means trust God implicitly. All things are done in His timing and according to His plan and just because I don't like or understand it does not make His timing any less divine.

That said...

What the HECK is up with His timing?? I mean really. I don't think I could conceivably think of a worse time for me to get married, aside from the all important fact that I am quite in love and want to desperately marry this man. However, the celebration that is supposed to accompany this event is all messed up because of the situation surrounding my dad. So now I'm getting married three times, to the same man at different dates this year. It's my marrying year. :p

To make matters worse or just even more bizarre when it comes to timing is the fact that my best friend is going through such a rough time in her desire to be pregnant. This of course leads me to not understand why in the name of heaven some people who should NOT be procreating are doing so like rabbits and my wonderful friends the delaRosa's are still not pregnant. *pout* It makes me mad...NOT FAIR I want to scream.

Krista and Vergil would make fantastic parents and I'm not saying that only because they are my best friends. It's because it's a fact, they would make fantastic parents. They are a great blend of humility, strength and downright fear of parenting that just makes them so ripe and ready to have kids. So you know what God, do it already! :p Oh that's right I stuck my tongue out at you...so help them then! (I want to stomp my foot like a petulant child after saying that.)

On a random other note, that really has nothing to do with the above rant, I had a great week this past week. My friend Jenn was here so through her I got to see a lot of my old Prov friends. This is sad because I live here it would seem silly for me to have to wait for someone to come from New Brunswick before I see friends that are mere blocks away. But such is the case when life is overwhelming.

Anyway it was a lot of fun. We had a sleepover, she came to work with me and watched CSI:NY on my laptop, we went out for sushi and just basically hung out. It was great and now I miss her again. Sometimes I wish we could telaport to wherever we wanted whenever we wanted to see someone. Of course that would lead me to the conclusion that it would probably go the same as it does when you live in the same province as someone. I would come home from a long day at work look at my telaporter and think 'eh I'll go visit BC another day' and then I'd have to plan the vacation to see it anyway.

I think as I grow older (and I am by no means old but still...getting older) my spontaneity is dwindling. Or at the very least suffocating under the responsibility that came up out of no where. Now I just don't go places I have to worry about how much it costs and how that impacts my future. I mean really. Heck even this week with the sleepover I'm still recovering. I used to be able to party till 1 or 2 AM and then work at 6AM and be fine. Now one night when I go to sleep at midnight a few days later I'm still tired.

Well one thing I've got that my early twenties self did not have. I have the actual countdown till I get married which is something I really wanted then.

15 days till that happens.

Weird.