Okay so I knew it would happen. I've been predicting the way Arielle would decide to walk pretty much since she rolled over. She'll just decide to walk and do it...today was totally the day. This morning she would walk from one place to another as long as they were only a few feet apart...by the end of the day she cleared the living room to go see her dad when he got home.

*sigh* Time really does fly. They really do grow up so fast...where is that tiny little baby that used to sleep on my chest?

So this week, as a favour to my boss, I worked an extra 8 hours and it helped me to realize that while I enjoy some extra hours away I love being at home with my girl. I saw her this morning and then raced to get home and see her before she went to bed at 8...I was so excited to get to see her I hugged her and kissed her and couldn't wait to cuddle her and put her to bed. I just rocked back and forth with her and relished how amazing she is...and as she lay on my chest I thought of how lucky I am to be her mother. There is really nothing else I'd rather do or be...

I go now to rest and then spend the whole day with her tomorrow...she is my inspiration a part of my heartbeat...I love that little girl with absolutely everything in me...she has thoroughly brought me joy a feeling I never thought I'd have again.

I love my baby :)

...when Arielle giggles. When she leans in because she wants to give me a big slobbery kiss and when puts her arms around my neck for a cuddle when we bounce on the ball.

She's just way too cute. I also love that she's napping so hard right now...so I can get ready for work :)

Well my girl is certainly growing up! Over the last week she seems to have excelled quite quickly, or maybe I'm still brimming over with my mother's exhilarated excitement over absolutely everything Arielle does! LOL

List of things Arielle can do so far:
1. She can sign four words, please, more, done and milk. Her favourite one is done which she has adapted to her own dialect. It looks nothing like it is supposed to but it definitely conveys the message!
2. Stands alone. She used to for only a couple of seconds but now she'll stand and squat quite seemlessly but if she wants to move she'll plop down on her butt and scoot to the destination.
3. Walk with help. Now she allows you to take her fingers and help her to walk and even took a couple of steps unaided when my mom was having her walk to me. I was very happy my mom got to witness that...she...wait for it...was exhilarated...lol
4. Has two more teeth on the bottom and has officially started on those eye teeth...we'll see how long they take...and I'm waiting for the molars to start...in one sense I hope they are early and in the sleeping sense I don't mind waiting.

I have to admit the climate in BC was/is very appealing. I love how when I mention that some will say to me 'oh but don't forget it always rains there'...to which my response is twofold 1) Yes I know I lived there for almost 3 years, the rain was fine and 2) I LIVE IN MANITOBA! Dude bring on the rain, as long as I don't have to plug in my car and deal with ridiculous winds I don't care if it rains. 8 months of winter is depressing weeks of rain is not nearly as depressing...lol Perspective people...haha That said I'm not moving...just dreaming about one day :)

I will leave you with this quote:
A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend. ~Author UnknownSay it with me...AWWWW :)

I will try to get better a putting out longer blogs...I might start taking notes during the day when she naps or something...we'll see how well I learn :)

So I had an amazing time in BC it was uplifting and I realized, yet again, just how much I love my family. Naturally whoever is reading this knows that I've decide to make my blog invite only. I just thought it was about time to pull back on how much of me and my fam is on the Internet. It was starting to make me uncomfortable and honestly consuming my life in a very unhealthy way.

So I've decided to pare back on my Internet time. I'm going to be on daily still, because I know that I'll cheat if I try to take it away completely. But I am planning to definitely try to stop being on so much. I'd rather keep my house in better order, spend time with my girl an husband, not necessarily in that order :)

There will still be blog entries and the like, but maybe I'll write them out on paper first and that kind of thing. Electronics are fun until they control you and my need to check facebook and be on the computer was starting to rule over bathroom cleaning and cooking. I'm trying a healthier lifestyle and this is my first step. I'm working on diet and exercise too but one step at a time.

So this isn't really a goodbye because I'll still check email and facebook once a day but that will be it. Basically I've given myself the time it takes for the battery in my laptop to die and that isn't much...at least compared. I think it's about an hour to an hour and a half..anyway just wanted to share it with ya'll...try not to miss me too much...lol I'll still be checking your blogs and leaving comments when I can...but I'm also going to walk more and play with my girl. :p

The reason I have gone to a private blog is just for my own peace of mind. I don't at all mind friends and family reading about our daily goings on and looking at pictures of my girl but I'm not interested in random lurkers reading/seeing it...now if someone who used to be a lurker wants to read it I totally have no problem sending an invite...I just want to know who is reading it, hence the additional privacy...so if you are reading this...WELCOME...or at least welcome back...it's still here...I'll be changing it around because I want to find the best set up, so let me know what you like or want to change...lol

Now to invite the people I already know will want to read...haha

So every time I'm in BC I realize how much I love it here. I don't know if it's the scenery, the fact that family is so close or the fact that frankly the weather is SO much better than Winnipeg. Like today for example, there are those who had to turn their HEAT on in Winnipeg. While we sat outside in the heat just drinking in the sunshine. Arielle played on the back porch with some of her toys. She loved it I'll post some pics of that on my facebook very soon.

I've been having an amazing time. I got to have a birthday dinner with my entire family. It was so great. My birthday, yesterday, was a very chill day to just enjoy being with family and get pampered a little. I got my hair cut...first time since before Arielle was born...and I got the added bonus of having it be cut by a wonderful friend of mine from way back in the day. It was so great to catch up with her and just talk about where we're at in our lives. We're both married to Jonathan's...her son and daughter who I remember as babies are growing up so fast I can't even believe it. And even more...she's just one of those people I've always connected with and it was so nice to be able to see her again...I think the last time I saw her was probably 11 or 12 years ago!!! How insane is that??

My sister, mom and I just got back from a bridal shower thrown for my cousin's fiance. (Actually she's marrying my cousin's kid...figure that one out lol) It was a Tupperware party and a lot of fun...it's amazing how many of my cousin's kids are getting married this year. One in February, one just this past June (actually I think their first wedding was in May or something like that...they are taking after Jonathan and I and had a reception a few weeks later...lol) Then this last couple are getting married next month. It's just crazy and so cool. Anyway it was a good time, I don't get a chance to go to a lot of family showers like this so it was nice to be able to attend one :)

It's just turned into an amazing trip. I'm now sitting at my sister's table typing this while the rest of the family watch a movie. It's just so nice and normal and not something we get to do a lot so I'm enjoying this moment and apparently sharing it with you...lol I'll go join them now ;)

Now I've been on an airplane with a 5 month old, a 7 month old and a 0ne-year-old. The first time she flew she slept the whole way there and most of the whole way back. The second time she was awake the whole entire time but didn't fuss much although mom would have preferred her sleeping. This time she pitched a half-hour fit in the airport before we even boarded the plane then when we were descending in to Calgary she finally fell asleep, for approximately 20 minutes and was up the rest of the trip volleying between being extremely happy to crying. I would like to thank God for the people sitting behind us on the trip from Calgary to Abbotsford they entertained her whenever she looked over our seat and she kept playing peek-a-boo with the lady...she really liked that woman it was so sweet and God bless them they made our trip just that much easier.


When we finally got here she was in pretty good spirits. She walked around the airport holding onto her stroller pushing it in front of her. She's doing much better at walking right now although she doesn't do it without help yet. She can stand alone for a few seconds but then realizes she's not holding onto anything and abruptly sits down...lol It'll happen in time I'm sure.

Anyway she's down for a nap now. She slept pretty good last night taking in the time change and lack of nap yesterday I was surprised and today her napping has gone pretty well...hopefully tonight will be even better than last night. I'll post this without a picture but don't worry I'll add some soon ;)

For me the act of motherhood is a state of being. I thought about it endlessly even before I was pregnant. How was I going to be as a mother? Would I be like my mom? Would I be extremely different? Would I emulate those around me who are great mothers? I like to think it's a combination of the influential mother's around me, my own mom being the most influential and my own unique bond with my daughter. The two of us are creating in each other our own unique take on being a mother and a daughter that I don't think anyone can duplicate. That's what makes it so special.

As I think about motherhood I think about those who did not come by it as 'easily' as I did or who are still dreaming about their own kind of bond. It breaks my heart that there are those who, in my mind, truly deserve this kind of blessing yet they have to wait and work so hard to achieve it. All the while not really knowing if they will. I hear their pain and wish that I could say something to them to make it all better. That I would know exactly the right words to encourage them or, even better, know for sure that their hoping is not in vain. I don't want to be one of those well wishers who just says 'oh it'll happen in time' or 'of course you'll get pregnant' or 'my friend tried for (insert amount of years here) until she finally got pregnant'...etc. Those words are so empty and remind me of different versions of those words being said to me about getting married.

In the moment you don't want platitudes and you certainly do not want someone making a promise they have no authority to make. The truth is I don't know for sure that anyone will get pregnant when they want. If I did know that believe me I would be letting these women know! But I don't. What I do know is those friends and family around me (they know who they are :) who are trying to get pregnant would make wonderful mothers. I do not think that them having to wait means that God is really telling them he doesn't trust them as a mother. I don't know all the reasons why some people have to work so hard for motherhood and why others seem to become mother's by standing downwind from sperm, I do know that God does have a purpose for everything even tho we may not understand it all the time. I may not have had to wait in the way of getting pregnant but I sure as heck had to wait to find the right father for my baby.

I don't understand what it feels like to be disappointed by a negative pregnancy test and I didn't have to wait longer than a few weeks to find out that I was going to have a baby after we started trying. But I most definitely had to watch friend after friend after sister ;) find the man they loved and go into marriage while I continuously stood on the sidelines and watched. I had to endure endless mountains of advice on how to find a man; was told countless times all the things that were wrong with me or what I was doing wrong in regards to not finding a man and was even given the proverbial pat on the head that it would happen 'in time' or maybe marriage just wasn't for me. When I finally got married I know that there were those of you more shocked than me, who had probably given up on me finding someone even before I did. Don't admit it, I know you did...lol

But I did find someone at a time when I never thought I could fall in love, we got married and we had a beautiful baby. A baby I have been dreaming about for many many years. I know what it feels like to wait. I know how horrible that four letter word can be and I also know how frivolous words can sound when you are right there in the moment of waiting. However I do know what it feels like at the other end. At the moment when you know that it was worth it to wait for the blessing and that even though it didn't know go as planned it is great the way it turned out. So those of you out there who are waiting and hating it, trust me it's worth it. Just don't throw things at me for saying it...I really do mean that the wait is worth it...and I still to this day hate waiting!

Love and prayers to those of you out there waiting for the deepest desires of your heart :)

Just had ourselves a pretty fantastic day. We sent out at around noon to celebrate Arielle being one at Jonathan's Baba and Grandpa's. It was so much fun being able to continue to celebrate this milestone in her life with yet more people who love her. She really isn't at all aware of how blessed she is...although by her smile she is becoming quite aware of the affect her smile has on people.

She had quite a good nap this morning so we were able to go into the party without too much trepidation. She played shy at first, but warmed up a lot faster than she has in the past. Much to mommy's relief...she's getting just a bit too heavy for me to carry around the whole time...oh and the stroller helped too. She also seemed way more receptive to people because of her huge love for food...especially watermelon.

As the pictures is depicting as soon as you would bring the fruit close to her mouth she would open it WIDE and bite off as much as she could. She loved it. No one could have one near her without her leaning forward mouth wide open ready for more. I definitely have a watermelon lover on my hands. Although I'm not surprised she loves fruit.

And we found out that is someone is willing to feed her while they hold her they can do so without much incidence although she definitely makes sure that you pay up. If she was not fed then there was all kinds of pointing and grunting to indicate that you get on putting that fruit in her mouth. She really is quite entertaining...lol

After the watermelon and such was demolished we brought out yet another birthday cake for Arielle to dive into...it was fantastic...she got to mush her hands in the ice cream cake too, which she loved...but she only used one hand which amused me greatly...lol It was also fun to clean, although I wouldn't know because Jessie cleaned her for me. :) When everyone started singing to her she leaned so far forward on my lap I didn't know if she was trying to bow or hide her face...lol It was too cute, as you can see. I managed to right her and carry her over to the cake so she could blow out her number 1 candle. Which of course translates too mom and dad blowing it out for her.

After cake there was the present opening which was done with daddy and of course the help of her cousin Jane. I think Jane was just wanting the present opening to be done with and all Arielle would do is play with her new shoes and the ribbon from another present. It's hard to get enthusiasm out of a one-year-old who has no interest in showing it...lol She still really loves the ribbon and wore the shoes home. I also can't wait to put her in the new clothes she got. Plus she seemed to take a shine to the new plush toys that make noise (thanks guys! :p ) Especially that laughing one...that's all I need yet another toy that makes noise. She's going to be disappointed when she squeezes the toe of a random stuffed animal and nothing comes out...lol She also got a ball that Uncle Rod was trying to help her figure out but really all we managed to do was play catch with each other while she played with something completely different.

I look forward to the time when she can interact and play with her cousins. She seems interested in their ability to be so mobile so maybe she will soon. She even let Auntie Joelle help her walk towards me which was so cute I could hardly stand it. I can't wait till she can run to me...and of course with that means she will also be able to run away from me...I know...lol

Tomorrow we go for her one year appointment which means a needle. I'm glad I don't have to work cause I'm not sure how the day will pan out especially since she'll miss out on her first nap so I hope the day isn't a total bust...I guess we'll have to see. This week I also have to get on packing for us all to go to BC this coming Saturday. I have to make sure we take everything we need and don't forget anything essential...which is why I'm starting so early...plus I need to get out big suitcase up from the basement. (read: Jonathan will get it for me :) So now it's really official we have ourselves a full blown one-year-old...she's my delight and I'm happy to share these lovely pictures that Auntie Carla took of her with all of you, enjoy :)

I've gone back to adding quotes in my titles. I collected a bunch about mothers and daughters to use since I've changed up the layout on my blog. I had always wondered how Mandi and Lauren got pics of their kids along the side of their blogs and finally figured it out. I could have asked of course but see now that would just have been smart. So here you go I figured it out...which means the layout could change a few hundred times in the coming weeks as I find one that works for me. Oh and if you're reading this in facebook I think there's a link on the bottom that says 'view original post' if you want to figure out what the heck I'm talking about...lol

I'm really going to try and make an effort to write more random posts...but I've done that before so we'll see...I'm working on getting some writing into my day no matter what it is. I'd like to eventually get to a point where I have some work done on some story ideas I have but at this point I think if I can at least swing a blogpost with more frequency than I have. And if I take up as much space with boring blurbs like this it will at least look full.

Okay so my parents left for the next leg of their month long car trip yesterday. They stopped by here in the morning to give Jonathan, Arielle and I a hug before leaving. Although since they drank almost a pot of coffee with us then brewed one for the road I think they were here for our coffee too. The price one pays for being a Starbucks partner...lol

We're kinda settling back into a routine although that'll be hiccuped in about a week cause we're going to BC so I'm thinking anything that resembles a routine won't happen for a few weeks. Oh well it's summer that's what you get for summer right?? Anyway today is a weird nap day, not sure why but Arielle didn't want the morning nap. It's like she realized she was one and decided one nap was the only way to go...which I'm fine with...if you she sleeps closer to 3 hours and decides to stop getting up at 5:30 and 6 in the morning...we'll see how this plays out...not much else to say right now so I'll post and then we'll do a countdown to see how long it takes me to write again...lol