Arielle just did the cutest thing tonight...okay she's constantly doing cute things but this just struck me as way too adorable. She watched me as I loaded the dishwasher, carefully noting I was putting dishes into it...then she took a couple of plastic containers out of her her 'yes' cupboard* and put them in to the dishwasher for me...SO CUTE! Honestly I couldn't stand it...she was helping! le sigh Remind me of this when I have to fight tooth and nail to get her to do the dishes in ten years...lol

Last night was a little bit better sleep wise and today was exponentially better nap wise...so I'm hoping tonight will be even better and that we're on our way to being done with this cold...I'll keep you posted I'm sure. :)

*her yes cupboard is one that has all of our plastic containers in it...then there's at least one cupboard that she can play in which is nice when I'm trying to make supper...my mom taught me that :)

I don't want to complain because I know I'm blessed and I absolutely love my daughter more than I ever thought I could love a person, but it's been a long day...heck it's been a long week.

Arielle is going through the following things: getting two molars on top and an incisor on the bottom, growth spurt and suffering a cold...this would make even the most fearless adult kinda grumpy. When you're a one-year-old who can't communicate, well it's down right frustrating. For her.

Now try being the tooth specialist, the growth specialist and the cold guru all while maintaining a sunny disposition cause Arielle is also uber sensitive to me when I'm frustrated. Enter cycle of whining, crying, screaming, happy, but then crying again with no way of consoling (that's me too only internal :) PLUS no naps...AND coughing enough at night to keep mom and dad awake most of it. *sigh* Like I said...long week. I want MY mommy please.

The other night was glorious...she slept most of it right through without waking up coughing and was in a very chipper mood all day. She napped twice, each time about two hours or more and was frankly just a delight to be around. Then last night and today happen. She woke up on and on from about midnight. At times it was coughing, other times it was discomfort with the temperature in her room, lack of soother, throwing bunny over the side of the crib...it was good times. Then today, absolutely downright refused the nap this morning, went down for about 45 min. to an hour this afternoon and whined her way through the rest of day till now. She's in bed now and has be silent the whole time I've typed this...I'm afraid to stop...is she going to cry out again. I don't know what else to do.

Humidifier can't be on too long it gets too hot in there...but it can't NOT be on at all because then it's too cold and dry which equals coughing. Vicks on the feet with socks works but ONLY after a coughing bit and the feet have to be the right amount of warm for it to be affective. Vicks on chest and back works well, but who can navigate the chest and back at 3 in the morning. Juice is a no go cause it's got too much sugar so introduce water whenever she needs to cough...won't take the sippy cup so we give her the water through a straw...this is fine. Mattress is propped up with a pillow...so she rolls her way to the bottom of it...remove pillow she coughs more...

You can see where I'm going with this...I'm tired I'm deflated and I just would like my happy go lucky girl back for longer than ten minute spurts :p We have an appointment with her doctor next week so we're going to discuss this ongoing coughing thing, but it just looks like she got a cold and is teething at the same time, which leads to a manic child wanting so badly to happy but not able to. Plus I know she wants to sleep but the more she wakes herself up the more frustrated she gets with not being able to sleep and sometimes I just don't know if I have enough comfort left to give her.

Jonathan has been awesome! He'll go in there at night too so I don't have to do it all. He does the dishes and picks up after her so I'm not shouldering the whole thing and he's been all around wonderful. I'm just tired and tired people whine and I'm done now...I'm gonna have a glass of wine, relax and pray that tonight is better than last night. If you made it this far kudos to you! :)

So it's official Arielle is weaned from the breast.

Hmm...I thought I'd feel better if I just wrote it down but it turns out I don't. I miss it already! It's only been a week since we stopped and she was only nursing once in the morning for about 3 weeks so it's not like it's been heavy at all for awhile but there is something about that connection that I miss so much! I can understand why women want to have more babies after they wean...there's this odd sense of emptiness that I can't explain. I mean clearly she still needs me and I'm still her mom and all that but I don't know...still feel empty.

It probably has something to do with the fact that it's been almost 2 years of my body not being my own, literally being dedicated to this child from the moment of conception so the fact that it doesn't have as much to do now makes me feel a bit empty. I'm reassured by the fact that we do plan on having more children and God-willing we will so I'm sure I'll get to do it again...but never again with Arielle and this makes me sad. :(

There are so many new things I still get to explore with her. Every day she gets more confident in her walking. She's crawling up on things now...most especially her chair...the one I bought when she was 5 weeks old that she could barely fit in...now she's crawling all over it with her legs hanging over the end...it's just so fast people...lol

Some things I absolutely LOVE about this stage...she gives kisses and always has a big smile when she does it. Now that she can walk she loves to run to me when I'm at the other end of the room and giggles like mad when I chase her. She communicates a bit more now and seems to be interested in the new signs I'm trying to teach her. She's exploring her own personality and it's exciting watching her discover the things she can do...I love that proud look she gets on her face when she's accomplished something...she looks at me as if to say 'look Mom I did it!'...she's just the best kid and I can't wait for every stage of her life, however trying they may be.

I'll always have my memories to look back on...and she'll always be my girl...*sigh* This whole weaning thing is dang emotional it's crazy...I'm gonna go have a glass of wine cause I can do that without guilt now...lol

The mother is queen of that realm and sways a sceptre more potent than that of kings or priests. ~Author Unknown

Queen huh? Well I suppose if one wants to throw a title up there then queen works for me...especially since I'm fairly certain my daughter is a princess :)

I sometimes come up with some great blog posts while I'm trying to fall asleep but for some reason whenever I pull up a new post I can't think of a darn thing to say. Life in the Banman household is humming along pretty well...we work, we play, we live...oh and I love my little girl who has turn walking into running. She loves to just toddle along around the house very proud of herself. She also has taken a liking to going outside which is great...except when it's raining...she hates it when I tell her no and gets this very sad face before she bursts into tears...hearing no is very traumatic for her.

These days she is experiencing a mild cold so there's a lot of snot removal and raspy breathing. It's not nearly as bad as that thing we battled at the beginning of June but it's still uncomfortable for her. The funny thing is she actually allows me to wipe her nose! If I want to clean her face she flips out but apparently nose cleaning is allowed...I really have to stop trying to understand her...lol

This week we are supposed to be experiencing actual summer weather, something I'm not holding my breath for but it will be nice to be able to go for walks without worrying about rain. I'm working only closing shifts this week so have my days with my girl which is great...then next week I'm still trying to find a sitter for Monday...my regular day sitter (my wonderful friend Krista :) is moving over the last two weeks in August and I don't want to burden her with babysitting while she's trying to pack and move so I am scouring around looking for a sitter. I don't want summer to go but I really can't wait for the schedule of fall to kick in, it's way more reliable...not so sporadic...I don't like having to hunt for babysitters ever week...it makes having a job less appealing to me...but I'm not going to make a drastic decision like that right now at the end of summer...one step at a time...lol

This post is getting fairly long and not making a lick of sense so here's a picture of my cutie at the zoo yesterday...she wasn't all that sure what was going on...now I'm gonna go drink some water so I don't get a full blown cold :p