It's been too long. I really have no excuse except to say it's been too long. This is my habit. I'll blog multiple times a month for a couple of months. Then it dwindles to maybe once a month and then a few months go by with nothing. Not sure why I do this, but I do. It's not like I don't have adorable and cute Arielle stories...I do! I just, for some reason, can't put the time together to actually write what they are. SOOO since it's going to be a brand new year in a couple of days I shall now give you my top nine Banman happenings of 2009!

In no particular order:

9. We became actual home owners. There have been ups and downs but the weirdest reaction was Arielle sleeping, or more accurately NOT screaming, through the first night in the house. She had slept at other homes before, in a play pen no less, so I figured her first night here would be a piece of cake cause her crib would be here. Not so much. She pretty much lasted maybe an hour or two in a row that night and woke up SCREAMING in between. We even took her into bed with us, for the first time since she was very tiny and that resulted in her leaning comfortably against her dad and kicking me. I do not find this fair because she also kicked me A LOT in-utero...cruel twist of fate she would do so outside as well.

Anyway after the first night we've adapted quite well to our new home.

8. Arielle turned one! I don't know who allowed it but someone out there said my tiny little baby could get bigger and age and move around independent of me and eat food that I didn't produce! Who said that? I'm gonna hurt them! Anyway...she turned one and weaned and started walking around and then running around. (anyone else counting the amount of ands in that last sentence?) There were parties and tons of family and copious amounts of cake to get out of her hair. Now that I look at the date she turned 18 months yesterday...my baby is rapidly turning into a bonefide little girl. I wish she would have asked me first.

7. I went back to work at Starbucks, part time. Which is a blessing and a curse for me. Blessing because I do love my job. It's so much fun and it's filled with endless amounts of caffeine, most of it free...so how could I not love it? Curse because I am one of those moms who would rather stay at home with her baby. I really am. If I want some time to myself I have an amazing husband who allows me that time and I have plenty of people to regale me with adult conversation so I think I could do stay at home pretty well. The thing is my job brings us that little bit of extra income that makes it worth it. So right now I'm a working part time mom and that's okay with me...for now.

6. We got to travel a few times over the year putting Arielle on a plane way more in her 18 months than some people have in half a life time. I wonder how many times we can get her on a plane before we have to pay for her. We'll see how the next six months go. Arielle was pretty amazing over all as a travelling girl and actually the more mobile she was the easier it was to keep her entertained...now I just wish that gravol worked for her and she actually slept for part of the flights.

5. Jonathan got news of a some major changes at his work. We aren't going to be without income but at the moment we'll have to wait for 2010 to find out how that income will be arriving. Arielle has been oblivious to it and as be revealing in the holiday season. Enjoying the pretty lights and all of the wonderful new toys and clothes she gets to have. Okay mommy enjoys the clothes more than Arielle does, she tends to gravitate more to the packaging the clothes arrive in.

4. We got a Wii!! I honestly had no interest in Wii or Wii Fit when it first came out. I'd mock the people in the commercial and just figured it would be yet another thing that I would stop doing. Much like this blog really...lol So far I've been doing the Wii Fit for 19 days and I've just missed once. Not bad if I do say so myself. I really enjoy the Yoga and Strength training. It helps me to focus on the areas I want to improve and when I feel the results it just makes me want to do that much more. My favourite thing to do right now is the boxing though, it's so therapeutic to just punch I can't even tell you! My goal over the next couple of months is to lose at least ten pounds and to improve my balance. Cause while I love the Wii I'm sick of the stupid board telling me I'm unbalanced! :p

3. My parents have been able to visit us a couple of times this year and it's been awesome. To go from where we were three years ago to them visiting us together so they can be with Arielle on her birthday is nothing short of a miracle. I am awed by how the Lord has continued to bless us as the months go by. My family is so very important to me and I really love how much time Arielle has been able to spend with them. My siblings included. It's hard when you live so far apart to maintain a level of connectedness and I truly believe that my family has worked extra hard to keep that alive.

2. Personally I have learned this year how important it is to live in the moment. I tend to be of the mind that I always need to be planning ahead and worrying about how the future is going to look. While planning is essential I sometimes let it overshadow what is happening in the moment. I truly believe that Arielle has taught me that there are so many amazing things happening in the moment it's nice to be able to sit back and enjoy them. She's had many momentous occasions this year and I've happily enjoyed everyone.

1. One of the biggest learning curves for me this year is truly realizing the huge blessing my daughter is. Not only is she a blessing she is the embodiment of joy for me. I can assure you that a mere 3 years ago I did think that I would ever feel real joy again and then there was Jonathan. He rekindled my hope and the birth of Arielle rebuilt my joy. She truly is joy personified, I am overwhelmed with how much I love her and continue to love her. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and it must have been because deep down I knew I'd have the privilege of being a mother to Arielle. She has allowed me to dream again.

So bring on 2010! A year that will bring me a two year old, a husband with a different job and more than likely another home. :)

I just realized that it's been a good month since I wrote anything and now feel compelled to write a post. Not really sure why but I do. Arielle is napping now so I'm going to attempt a something coherent :p

Arielle and I went and visited my parents in the middle of this month. It was a fun time. She is getting to be pretty good at flying. Especially since she's flown quite a few times for a little girl that isn't even 18 months! :) Maybe that's cause Mom is milking the 'free till 2' thing as best I can...haha

While out at my parents my mom pulled out a chair I used to sit on all the time when I was around Arielle's age. When you see the pics together isn't it crazy?? Also can you believe the pink carpet I had to deal with in my room? LoL No wonder I hated pink for so long. I'm cutting this post short at the moment because I realized I need to scan some more old school pics into my computer before Arielle wakes up...maybe I'll have something more inspirational to say later...lol

I feel the need to get the 'shock and horror' post out from the top of my blog so here is an inane ramble...we'll see where it goes. I started a blog post about a week ago that I have since abandoned because the moment has passed...lol

We've been enjoying the lovely warmer weather that we finally got, two months late...lol It's been fun taking Arielle on almost daily walks and letting her play in the park. She pretty much loves the stones that they put in the play areas. She'll pick up handfuls of them, move them to another location and do that for sometimes as long as a half hour. Most of the time after they have been dumped in the new location, she wipes them off. It's a strange bit of organizing that I thoroughly enjoy watching.

She loves to walk and run around, especially with her friend Kai. I've started babysitting Kai every Wednesday and it's just hilarious watching the two of them play with each other. Their favourite game is for Arielle to run out of the room while Kai stays with me. Then I should 'Where's Arielle?' and she comes running. When she gets into the room Kai throws up his hands and say 'AY!!' It's hilarious and they will play it for a long time! haha

They are constantly drinking from each other's sippy cups and 'sharing' their soothers it's funny. Unless of course they both want the same sippy up, then there's a bit of a fight. Trying to explain to a one year old that the very same liquid is in the other cup is not an easy task let me tell you!

Work is a lot of fun most of the time. My only complaint is it's been a bit busy lately and this next week is gonna be nuts. That said it's extra money plus I'm going to be gone for 6 days over the Thanksgiving holiday because Arielle and I are going to Ontario. It's going to be so much fun! I can't wait. I really am looking forward to hanging out with my parents and eating a yummy Thanksgiving dinner there. I wish Jonathan could come with us, but we didn't have enough points, plus he doesn't have many holiday days left anyway so we don't wanna push the limit. Either way it's going to be fun times and a nice bridge from the last time I saw them till Christmas when they come out here.

I've been thinking a lot about having another one. Now don't jump the gun, I'm not pregnant and we're not trying to get pregnant, nor are we 'not' trying...lol I'm just thinking about another one and what that would mean. I don't want our kids to be too far apart and I don't want them to be too close. I wouldn't mind trying after Arielle is 18 months and don't want to wait much longer after her 2nd birthday. Jonathan and I are discussing the timing that is right for both of us and I won't tell you what that is until I tell you we're pregnant...lol Some things can be left off the blog.

That said I've been going over in my mind what having two would be like...I'm not all that worried about the work, at this point I'd look forward to it again. Arielle just keeps getting more and more independent and while she still most definitely needs me. I'm at that 'yearning for infant' stage again...lol I'm sure when I've had some more bad nights I'll be back to enjoying my one child...lol

Anyway here's a pic of Arielle doing one of her favourite things. Holding a toy in her mouth without her hands...she's a goof and I love her :)

Okay you know what after reading the news I've come to two conclusions:

1) There are people who should never be allowed to procreate...NEVER.
2) I shouldn't read the news...it's too depressing.

Honestly Jonathan and I have talked about moving out of the city and news stories like this (warning: story is horrific so please click the link at your own risk) just make me want to move even more. Of course the actual move will more than likely happen in a year or two but still I just can't imagine my children having to grow up around this sort of thing. Oh and I do realize I can't shelter them and certainly don't want to hide them from the world or anything but hey if I can at least mute some of the horrors that are out there for a little while and allow them to retain their sweetness for as long as possible I'm going to do what I can. :)

To move aware from the morose I get to buy a new coffee make today. I'm kinda pumped. Our glass carafe broke on the last one so I'm gonna upgrade the next one to actually have a thermos carafe instead. I can't stand it when the coffee just cooks longer after it's been brewed...so gross. Yes I'm a coffee snob, can you blame me? :)

Arielle has finally gone back to sleeping through the night! Her cough is still there but not nearly at the intensity and she usually can fall back asleep after she's coughed for a bit so mommy and daddy actually get a somewhat good nights sleep. Like this morning I actually could get up with her and didn't feel completely exhausted...it's a nice feeling.

It's funny I can come up with long detailed blogs in my head but whenever I actually get around to writing it down, nothing. I've been perusing blogs lately and some people seem to have this amazing way with words and I thought I had that gift once...now I'm wondering if it left me...hmm...it'd be nice to get that back but hey it's all good.

Anyway my babe is having herself a nap so I'm gonna get all ready for my day...woot...yay for new coffee makers! :)

Arielle just did the cutest thing tonight...okay she's constantly doing cute things but this just struck me as way too adorable. She watched me as I loaded the dishwasher, carefully noting I was putting dishes into it...then she took a couple of plastic containers out of her her 'yes' cupboard* and put them in to the dishwasher for me...SO CUTE! Honestly I couldn't stand it...she was helping! le sigh Remind me of this when I have to fight tooth and nail to get her to do the dishes in ten years...lol

Last night was a little bit better sleep wise and today was exponentially better nap wise...so I'm hoping tonight will be even better and that we're on our way to being done with this cold...I'll keep you posted I'm sure. :)

*her yes cupboard is one that has all of our plastic containers in it...then there's at least one cupboard that she can play in which is nice when I'm trying to make supper...my mom taught me that :)

I don't want to complain because I know I'm blessed and I absolutely love my daughter more than I ever thought I could love a person, but it's been a long day...heck it's been a long week.

Arielle is going through the following things: getting two molars on top and an incisor on the bottom, growth spurt and suffering a cold...this would make even the most fearless adult kinda grumpy. When you're a one-year-old who can't communicate, well it's down right frustrating. For her.

Now try being the tooth specialist, the growth specialist and the cold guru all while maintaining a sunny disposition cause Arielle is also uber sensitive to me when I'm frustrated. Enter cycle of whining, crying, screaming, happy, but then crying again with no way of consoling (that's me too only internal :) PLUS no naps...AND coughing enough at night to keep mom and dad awake most of it. *sigh* Like I said...long week. I want MY mommy please.

The other night was glorious...she slept most of it right through without waking up coughing and was in a very chipper mood all day. She napped twice, each time about two hours or more and was frankly just a delight to be around. Then last night and today happen. She woke up on and on from about midnight. At times it was coughing, other times it was discomfort with the temperature in her room, lack of soother, throwing bunny over the side of the crib...it was good times. Then today, absolutely downright refused the nap this morning, went down for about 45 min. to an hour this afternoon and whined her way through the rest of day till now. She's in bed now and has be silent the whole time I've typed this...I'm afraid to stop...is she going to cry out again. I don't know what else to do.

Humidifier can't be on too long it gets too hot in there...but it can't NOT be on at all because then it's too cold and dry which equals coughing. Vicks on the feet with socks works but ONLY after a coughing bit and the feet have to be the right amount of warm for it to be affective. Vicks on chest and back works well, but who can navigate the chest and back at 3 in the morning. Juice is a no go cause it's got too much sugar so introduce water whenever she needs to cough...won't take the sippy cup so we give her the water through a straw...this is fine. Mattress is propped up with a pillow...so she rolls her way to the bottom of it...remove pillow she coughs more...

You can see where I'm going with this...I'm tired I'm deflated and I just would like my happy go lucky girl back for longer than ten minute spurts :p We have an appointment with her doctor next week so we're going to discuss this ongoing coughing thing, but it just looks like she got a cold and is teething at the same time, which leads to a manic child wanting so badly to happy but not able to. Plus I know she wants to sleep but the more she wakes herself up the more frustrated she gets with not being able to sleep and sometimes I just don't know if I have enough comfort left to give her.

Jonathan has been awesome! He'll go in there at night too so I don't have to do it all. He does the dishes and picks up after her so I'm not shouldering the whole thing and he's been all around wonderful. I'm just tired and tired people whine and I'm done now...I'm gonna have a glass of wine, relax and pray that tonight is better than last night. If you made it this far kudos to you! :)

So it's official Arielle is weaned from the breast.

Hmm...I thought I'd feel better if I just wrote it down but it turns out I don't. I miss it already! It's only been a week since we stopped and she was only nursing once in the morning for about 3 weeks so it's not like it's been heavy at all for awhile but there is something about that connection that I miss so much! I can understand why women want to have more babies after they wean...there's this odd sense of emptiness that I can't explain. I mean clearly she still needs me and I'm still her mom and all that but I don't know...still feel empty.

It probably has something to do with the fact that it's been almost 2 years of my body not being my own, literally being dedicated to this child from the moment of conception so the fact that it doesn't have as much to do now makes me feel a bit empty. I'm reassured by the fact that we do plan on having more children and God-willing we will so I'm sure I'll get to do it again...but never again with Arielle and this makes me sad. :(

There are so many new things I still get to explore with her. Every day she gets more confident in her walking. She's crawling up on things now...most especially her chair...the one I bought when she was 5 weeks old that she could barely fit in...now she's crawling all over it with her legs hanging over the end...it's just so fast people...lol

Some things I absolutely LOVE about this stage...she gives kisses and always has a big smile when she does it. Now that she can walk she loves to run to me when I'm at the other end of the room and giggles like mad when I chase her. She communicates a bit more now and seems to be interested in the new signs I'm trying to teach her. She's exploring her own personality and it's exciting watching her discover the things she can do...I love that proud look she gets on her face when she's accomplished something...she looks at me as if to say 'look Mom I did it!'...she's just the best kid and I can't wait for every stage of her life, however trying they may be.

I'll always have my memories to look back on...and she'll always be my girl...*sigh* This whole weaning thing is dang emotional it's crazy...I'm gonna go have a glass of wine cause I can do that without guilt now...lol

The mother is queen of that realm and sways a sceptre more potent than that of kings or priests. ~Author Unknown

Queen huh? Well I suppose if one wants to throw a title up there then queen works for me...especially since I'm fairly certain my daughter is a princess :)

I sometimes come up with some great blog posts while I'm trying to fall asleep but for some reason whenever I pull up a new post I can't think of a darn thing to say. Life in the Banman household is humming along pretty well...we work, we play, we live...oh and I love my little girl who has turn walking into running. She loves to just toddle along around the house very proud of herself. She also has taken a liking to going outside which is great...except when it's raining...she hates it when I tell her no and gets this very sad face before she bursts into tears...hearing no is very traumatic for her.

These days she is experiencing a mild cold so there's a lot of snot removal and raspy breathing. It's not nearly as bad as that thing we battled at the beginning of June but it's still uncomfortable for her. The funny thing is she actually allows me to wipe her nose! If I want to clean her face she flips out but apparently nose cleaning is allowed...I really have to stop trying to understand her...lol

This week we are supposed to be experiencing actual summer weather, something I'm not holding my breath for but it will be nice to be able to go for walks without worrying about rain. I'm working only closing shifts this week so have my days with my girl which is great...then next week I'm still trying to find a sitter for Monday...my regular day sitter (my wonderful friend Krista :) is moving over the last two weeks in August and I don't want to burden her with babysitting while she's trying to pack and move so I am scouring around looking for a sitter. I don't want summer to go but I really can't wait for the schedule of fall to kick in, it's way more reliable...not so sporadic...I don't like having to hunt for babysitters ever week...it makes having a job less appealing to me...but I'm not going to make a drastic decision like that right now at the end of summer...one step at a time...lol

This post is getting fairly long and not making a lick of sense so here's a picture of my cutie at the zoo yesterday...she wasn't all that sure what was going on...now I'm gonna go drink some water so I don't get a full blown cold :p

Okay so I knew it would happen. I've been predicting the way Arielle would decide to walk pretty much since she rolled over. She'll just decide to walk and do it...today was totally the day. This morning she would walk from one place to another as long as they were only a few feet apart...by the end of the day she cleared the living room to go see her dad when he got home.

*sigh* Time really does fly. They really do grow up so fast...where is that tiny little baby that used to sleep on my chest?

So this week, as a favour to my boss, I worked an extra 8 hours and it helped me to realize that while I enjoy some extra hours away I love being at home with my girl. I saw her this morning and then raced to get home and see her before she went to bed at 8...I was so excited to get to see her I hugged her and kissed her and couldn't wait to cuddle her and put her to bed. I just rocked back and forth with her and relished how amazing she is...and as she lay on my chest I thought of how lucky I am to be her mother. There is really nothing else I'd rather do or be...

I go now to rest and then spend the whole day with her tomorrow...she is my inspiration a part of my heartbeat...I love that little girl with absolutely everything in me...she has thoroughly brought me joy a feeling I never thought I'd have again.

I love my baby :)

...when Arielle giggles. When she leans in because she wants to give me a big slobbery kiss and when puts her arms around my neck for a cuddle when we bounce on the ball.

She's just way too cute. I also love that she's napping so hard right now...so I can get ready for work :)

Well my girl is certainly growing up! Over the last week she seems to have excelled quite quickly, or maybe I'm still brimming over with my mother's exhilarated excitement over absolutely everything Arielle does! LOL

List of things Arielle can do so far:
1. She can sign four words, please, more, done and milk. Her favourite one is done which she has adapted to her own dialect. It looks nothing like it is supposed to but it definitely conveys the message!
2. Stands alone. She used to for only a couple of seconds but now she'll stand and squat quite seemlessly but if she wants to move she'll plop down on her butt and scoot to the destination.
3. Walk with help. Now she allows you to take her fingers and help her to walk and even took a couple of steps unaided when my mom was having her walk to me. I was very happy my mom got to witness that...she...wait for it...was exhilarated...lol
4. Has two more teeth on the bottom and has officially started on those eye teeth...we'll see how long they take...and I'm waiting for the molars to start...in one sense I hope they are early and in the sleeping sense I don't mind waiting.

I have to admit the climate in BC was/is very appealing. I love how when I mention that some will say to me 'oh but don't forget it always rains there'...to which my response is twofold 1) Yes I know I lived there for almost 3 years, the rain was fine and 2) I LIVE IN MANITOBA! Dude bring on the rain, as long as I don't have to plug in my car and deal with ridiculous winds I don't care if it rains. 8 months of winter is depressing weeks of rain is not nearly as depressing...lol Perspective people...haha That said I'm not moving...just dreaming about one day :)

I will leave you with this quote:
A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend. ~Author UnknownSay it with me...AWWWW :)

I will try to get better a putting out longer blogs...I might start taking notes during the day when she naps or something...we'll see how well I learn :)

So I had an amazing time in BC it was uplifting and I realized, yet again, just how much I love my family. Naturally whoever is reading this knows that I've decide to make my blog invite only. I just thought it was about time to pull back on how much of me and my fam is on the Internet. It was starting to make me uncomfortable and honestly consuming my life in a very unhealthy way.

So I've decided to pare back on my Internet time. I'm going to be on daily still, because I know that I'll cheat if I try to take it away completely. But I am planning to definitely try to stop being on so much. I'd rather keep my house in better order, spend time with my girl an husband, not necessarily in that order :)

There will still be blog entries and the like, but maybe I'll write them out on paper first and that kind of thing. Electronics are fun until they control you and my need to check facebook and be on the computer was starting to rule over bathroom cleaning and cooking. I'm trying a healthier lifestyle and this is my first step. I'm working on diet and exercise too but one step at a time.

So this isn't really a goodbye because I'll still check email and facebook once a day but that will be it. Basically I've given myself the time it takes for the battery in my laptop to die and that isn't much...at least compared. I think it's about an hour to an hour and a half..anyway just wanted to share it with ya'll...try not to miss me too much...lol I'll still be checking your blogs and leaving comments when I can...but I'm also going to walk more and play with my girl. :p

The reason I have gone to a private blog is just for my own peace of mind. I don't at all mind friends and family reading about our daily goings on and looking at pictures of my girl but I'm not interested in random lurkers reading/seeing it...now if someone who used to be a lurker wants to read it I totally have no problem sending an invite...I just want to know who is reading it, hence the additional privacy...so if you are reading this...WELCOME...or at least welcome back...it's still here...I'll be changing it around because I want to find the best set up, so let me know what you like or want to change...lol

Now to invite the people I already know will want to read...haha

So every time I'm in BC I realize how much I love it here. I don't know if it's the scenery, the fact that family is so close or the fact that frankly the weather is SO much better than Winnipeg. Like today for example, there are those who had to turn their HEAT on in Winnipeg. While we sat outside in the heat just drinking in the sunshine. Arielle played on the back porch with some of her toys. She loved it I'll post some pics of that on my facebook very soon.

I've been having an amazing time. I got to have a birthday dinner with my entire family. It was so great. My birthday, yesterday, was a very chill day to just enjoy being with family and get pampered a little. I got my hair cut...first time since before Arielle was born...and I got the added bonus of having it be cut by a wonderful friend of mine from way back in the day. It was so great to catch up with her and just talk about where we're at in our lives. We're both married to Jonathan's...her son and daughter who I remember as babies are growing up so fast I can't even believe it. And even more...she's just one of those people I've always connected with and it was so nice to be able to see her again...I think the last time I saw her was probably 11 or 12 years ago!!! How insane is that??

My sister, mom and I just got back from a bridal shower thrown for my cousin's fiance. (Actually she's marrying my cousin's kid...figure that one out lol) It was a Tupperware party and a lot of fun...it's amazing how many of my cousin's kids are getting married this year. One in February, one just this past June (actually I think their first wedding was in May or something like that...they are taking after Jonathan and I and had a reception a few weeks later...lol) Then this last couple are getting married next month. It's just crazy and so cool. Anyway it was a good time, I don't get a chance to go to a lot of family showers like this so it was nice to be able to attend one :)

It's just turned into an amazing trip. I'm now sitting at my sister's table typing this while the rest of the family watch a movie. It's just so nice and normal and not something we get to do a lot so I'm enjoying this moment and apparently sharing it with you...lol I'll go join them now ;)

Now I've been on an airplane with a 5 month old, a 7 month old and a 0ne-year-old. The first time she flew she slept the whole way there and most of the whole way back. The second time she was awake the whole entire time but didn't fuss much although mom would have preferred her sleeping. This time she pitched a half-hour fit in the airport before we even boarded the plane then when we were descending in to Calgary she finally fell asleep, for approximately 20 minutes and was up the rest of the trip volleying between being extremely happy to crying. I would like to thank God for the people sitting behind us on the trip from Calgary to Abbotsford they entertained her whenever she looked over our seat and she kept playing peek-a-boo with the lady...she really liked that woman it was so sweet and God bless them they made our trip just that much easier.


When we finally got here she was in pretty good spirits. She walked around the airport holding onto her stroller pushing it in front of her. She's doing much better at walking right now although she doesn't do it without help yet. She can stand alone for a few seconds but then realizes she's not holding onto anything and abruptly sits down...lol It'll happen in time I'm sure.

Anyway she's down for a nap now. She slept pretty good last night taking in the time change and lack of nap yesterday I was surprised and today her napping has gone pretty well...hopefully tonight will be even better than last night. I'll post this without a picture but don't worry I'll add some soon ;)

For me the act of motherhood is a state of being. I thought about it endlessly even before I was pregnant. How was I going to be as a mother? Would I be like my mom? Would I be extremely different? Would I emulate those around me who are great mothers? I like to think it's a combination of the influential mother's around me, my own mom being the most influential and my own unique bond with my daughter. The two of us are creating in each other our own unique take on being a mother and a daughter that I don't think anyone can duplicate. That's what makes it so special.

As I think about motherhood I think about those who did not come by it as 'easily' as I did or who are still dreaming about their own kind of bond. It breaks my heart that there are those who, in my mind, truly deserve this kind of blessing yet they have to wait and work so hard to achieve it. All the while not really knowing if they will. I hear their pain and wish that I could say something to them to make it all better. That I would know exactly the right words to encourage them or, even better, know for sure that their hoping is not in vain. I don't want to be one of those well wishers who just says 'oh it'll happen in time' or 'of course you'll get pregnant' or 'my friend tried for (insert amount of years here) until she finally got pregnant'...etc. Those words are so empty and remind me of different versions of those words being said to me about getting married.

In the moment you don't want platitudes and you certainly do not want someone making a promise they have no authority to make. The truth is I don't know for sure that anyone will get pregnant when they want. If I did know that believe me I would be letting these women know! But I don't. What I do know is those friends and family around me (they know who they are :) who are trying to get pregnant would make wonderful mothers. I do not think that them having to wait means that God is really telling them he doesn't trust them as a mother. I don't know all the reasons why some people have to work so hard for motherhood and why others seem to become mother's by standing downwind from sperm, I do know that God does have a purpose for everything even tho we may not understand it all the time. I may not have had to wait in the way of getting pregnant but I sure as heck had to wait to find the right father for my baby.

I don't understand what it feels like to be disappointed by a negative pregnancy test and I didn't have to wait longer than a few weeks to find out that I was going to have a baby after we started trying. But I most definitely had to watch friend after friend after sister ;) find the man they loved and go into marriage while I continuously stood on the sidelines and watched. I had to endure endless mountains of advice on how to find a man; was told countless times all the things that were wrong with me or what I was doing wrong in regards to not finding a man and was even given the proverbial pat on the head that it would happen 'in time' or maybe marriage just wasn't for me. When I finally got married I know that there were those of you more shocked than me, who had probably given up on me finding someone even before I did. Don't admit it, I know you did...lol

But I did find someone at a time when I never thought I could fall in love, we got married and we had a beautiful baby. A baby I have been dreaming about for many many years. I know what it feels like to wait. I know how horrible that four letter word can be and I also know how frivolous words can sound when you are right there in the moment of waiting. However I do know what it feels like at the other end. At the moment when you know that it was worth it to wait for the blessing and that even though it didn't know go as planned it is great the way it turned out. So those of you out there who are waiting and hating it, trust me it's worth it. Just don't throw things at me for saying it...I really do mean that the wait is worth it...and I still to this day hate waiting!

Love and prayers to those of you out there waiting for the deepest desires of your heart :)

Just had ourselves a pretty fantastic day. We sent out at around noon to celebrate Arielle being one at Jonathan's Baba and Grandpa's. It was so much fun being able to continue to celebrate this milestone in her life with yet more people who love her. She really isn't at all aware of how blessed she is...although by her smile she is becoming quite aware of the affect her smile has on people.

She had quite a good nap this morning so we were able to go into the party without too much trepidation. She played shy at first, but warmed up a lot faster than she has in the past. Much to mommy's relief...she's getting just a bit too heavy for me to carry around the whole time...oh and the stroller helped too. She also seemed way more receptive to people because of her huge love for food...especially watermelon.

As the pictures is depicting as soon as you would bring the fruit close to her mouth she would open it WIDE and bite off as much as she could. She loved it. No one could have one near her without her leaning forward mouth wide open ready for more. I definitely have a watermelon lover on my hands. Although I'm not surprised she loves fruit.

And we found out that is someone is willing to feed her while they hold her they can do so without much incidence although she definitely makes sure that you pay up. If she was not fed then there was all kinds of pointing and grunting to indicate that you get on putting that fruit in her mouth. She really is quite entertaining...lol

After the watermelon and such was demolished we brought out yet another birthday cake for Arielle to dive into...it was fantastic...she got to mush her hands in the ice cream cake too, which she loved...but she only used one hand which amused me greatly...lol It was also fun to clean, although I wouldn't know because Jessie cleaned her for me. :) When everyone started singing to her she leaned so far forward on my lap I didn't know if she was trying to bow or hide her face...lol It was too cute, as you can see. I managed to right her and carry her over to the cake so she could blow out her number 1 candle. Which of course translates too mom and dad blowing it out for her.

After cake there was the present opening which was done with daddy and of course the help of her cousin Jane. I think Jane was just wanting the present opening to be done with and all Arielle would do is play with her new shoes and the ribbon from another present. It's hard to get enthusiasm out of a one-year-old who has no interest in showing it...lol She still really loves the ribbon and wore the shoes home. I also can't wait to put her in the new clothes she got. Plus she seemed to take a shine to the new plush toys that make noise (thanks guys! :p ) Especially that laughing one...that's all I need yet another toy that makes noise. She's going to be disappointed when she squeezes the toe of a random stuffed animal and nothing comes out...lol She also got a ball that Uncle Rod was trying to help her figure out but really all we managed to do was play catch with each other while she played with something completely different.

I look forward to the time when she can interact and play with her cousins. She seems interested in their ability to be so mobile so maybe she will soon. She even let Auntie Joelle help her walk towards me which was so cute I could hardly stand it. I can't wait till she can run to me...and of course with that means she will also be able to run away from me...I know...lol

Tomorrow we go for her one year appointment which means a needle. I'm glad I don't have to work cause I'm not sure how the day will pan out especially since she'll miss out on her first nap so I hope the day isn't a total bust...I guess we'll have to see. This week I also have to get on packing for us all to go to BC this coming Saturday. I have to make sure we take everything we need and don't forget anything essential...which is why I'm starting so early...plus I need to get out big suitcase up from the basement. (read: Jonathan will get it for me :) So now it's really official we have ourselves a full blown one-year-old...she's my delight and I'm happy to share these lovely pictures that Auntie Carla took of her with all of you, enjoy :)

I've gone back to adding quotes in my titles. I collected a bunch about mothers and daughters to use since I've changed up the layout on my blog. I had always wondered how Mandi and Lauren got pics of their kids along the side of their blogs and finally figured it out. I could have asked of course but see now that would just have been smart. So here you go I figured it out...which means the layout could change a few hundred times in the coming weeks as I find one that works for me. Oh and if you're reading this in facebook I think there's a link on the bottom that says 'view original post' if you want to figure out what the heck I'm talking about...lol

I'm really going to try and make an effort to write more random posts...but I've done that before so we'll see...I'm working on getting some writing into my day no matter what it is. I'd like to eventually get to a point where I have some work done on some story ideas I have but at this point I think if I can at least swing a blogpost with more frequency than I have. And if I take up as much space with boring blurbs like this it will at least look full.

Okay so my parents left for the next leg of their month long car trip yesterday. They stopped by here in the morning to give Jonathan, Arielle and I a hug before leaving. Although since they drank almost a pot of coffee with us then brewed one for the road I think they were here for our coffee too. The price one pays for being a Starbucks partner...lol

We're kinda settling back into a routine although that'll be hiccuped in about a week cause we're going to BC so I'm thinking anything that resembles a routine won't happen for a few weeks. Oh well it's summer that's what you get for summer right?? Anyway today is a weird nap day, not sure why but Arielle didn't want the morning nap. It's like she realized she was one and decided one nap was the only way to go...which I'm fine with...if you she sleeps closer to 3 hours and decides to stop getting up at 5:30 and 6 in the morning...we'll see how this plays out...not much else to say right now so I'll post and then we'll do a countdown to see how long it takes me to write again...lol

My baby is one.

It blows my mind how fast time flies. I know that we all say it and everyone experiences it but it still absolutely throws me for a loop. Four years ago I didn't even have the prospect of a family of my own and now I'm married to a wonderful man and we have a gorgeous one year old daughter. It just...yeah...blows my mind.

So a year ago today I was recovering. I remember being a mix of so many emotions, exhaustion, awe, nervousness, fear, shock, pain yet relaxation and above all that a huge swell of love for this tiny 7 pound being. I honestly couldn't get over how beautiful she was. The fact that the little baby I was holding had been inside of me for 9 months and had come out so perfect was astonishing...if I've ever been aware of life being a miracle before it was dwarfed by that moment. I remember just staring at her for what seemed like hours marvelling in the fact that this was a baby I didn't have to give back. I'd spent years cuddling, rocking and loving babies that I always had to return...but this one I could keep. I would have to watch others say goodbye to her but it wouldn't have to be me.

Over the past year Arielle has taught me so much. I've been blessed to be able to learn new things about her every day and in the meantime she is also teaching me things I didn't know about myself. She's helping me to gain confidence in my own instincts and stretching me to be a fuller version of myself. I can't imagine my life without her and have had the privilege of living the best year of my life, thus far, with her. Jonathan and I sometimes can't believe that this beautiful girl with the sweet spirit, bright smile and infectious laugh is actually our little girl. She's this interesting blend of the two of us and not a day goes by that I don't continue to wonder what else she is going to teach me about her little personality. This is what I've learnt so far...

1. She is a little communicator. She WILL let you know what she wants or what she is trying to convey no matter how long it takes you to figure it out. I remember driving to Morden with her SCREAMING in the backseat wondering how my perfectly content baby had morphed into a banshee over night. I sat in the back trying to calm her wondering what else it was I could do. Then I took away that piece of the car seat that is designed to hold the head in place and boom she's quiet. Like night and day she instantaneously stopped and probably rolled her eyes wondering why it took me so dang long to catch on. Now we are teaching her simple sign language to help her communicate and are rewarded with a HUGE smile when we figure out what she's saying. At the rate she's going I'm going to get full sentences out of her in no time...lol

2. She's very strong willed. Those of you who know me are laughing to yourself right now so I'm gonna politely tell you to cork it...lol Those of you who know Jonathan better are probably doing the same...yes we have ourselves a very opinionated communicator. However she does listen fairly well...if a reprimand is followed by praise when she does something right (ie. NOT dropping the piece of food on the floor when asked) she seems to understand not to do it again. Although she sometimes still tries to get away with it. That said she also has some rather amusing physical reactions when things don't go her way. If a toy isn't doing what she wants it to do she will prostrate her self on the floor her arms splayed out in front of her (as tho she is praying on a rug facing east :) and yell into the floor. If we pick her up to change her clothes or her diaper and interrupt her playing time then she kicks her legs quite roughly in protest. It's extremely amusing and sometimes quite difficult for me to keep a straight face.

3. She loves to laugh. Now she'll crawl along the floor and sometimes just laugh to herself as though she told a private joke. Other times she'll pull herself up at my legs and just laugh because she's feeling particularly happy at that moment. My favourite is her big belly laugh that happens mostly when I tickler her or nuzzle her neck. She seems to think this is hilarious and just can't seem to stop laughing, then when she anticipates it she'll laugh before I even get to her neck. It is just so exhilarating to hear her laugh. It can make my day exponentially better.

4. She seems to be a fairly content child. She likes to play by herself (even though most of the time I need to be within her view) and really likes to organize. The other day for over half an hour she moved leaves around the deck while on her car moving them from one chair to the other in fashion that made sense only to her...lol She is constantly figuring things out and when she realized she could put things up on tables and chairs she was quite pleased with herself.

5. She prefers to figure things out on her own. She didn't want help rolling over and only sat up when she felt more comfortable. From what I've witnessed most babies like to be helped to stand and walk by holding onto the figures of adults. While not my child, if you even try to help her stand or walk she'll go limp in your arms and try to sit down. As though she is saying "Umm no I'm not ready to do that right now so leave me alone." Once she does figure something out then she's got it down. It didn't take her long from being able to pull herself up to stand to going to walking around furniture. She even, at this point, will do some free standing, until she realizes she's doing it, then she promptly sits down. So I'm gonna sit back and just wait for her to figure out this whole walking thing, she'll probably do it better than me and then show me how to do it right. lol

Her first birthday weekend went off really well. Out of the two days we did manage to get the day when it wasn't pouring rain so while it wasn't as warm as I would have liked at least it was dry and we still got to sit outside for a bit. I'm hoping that next weekend when we celebrate again we will be blessed with more dry weather and maybe even a bit more sun. She loved getting into the cake and squishing in between her fingers. When I brought the cake out and everyone was singing I don't know that she was aware that it was about her. She loved the cake and went straight for the little pink flowers. There was no need to introduce her to taking the icing off she couldn't wait to get that piece of her own to dive into. I gave her a big one cause it was her birthday and I figured that one day I wouldn't worry about how much of a mess she made or the mass amount of sugar she consumed. It was funny afterwards she just lapped the living room a few times and then jumped in her jumper quite vigorously...it honestly was so funny she couldn't sit still for two seconds for a moment there I was worried we'd be up till 10 trying to get her to calm down but she seemed to crash right around her normal bedtime so that wasn't too bad. I loved that my parents and sister could come out and celebrate this day with us. We kept marveling at how different it was last year and how long we had anticipated their visits when Arielle was born and now boom she's one.

I love my little girl and I really couldn't have imagined a better child. She's napping right now which is allowing me the chance to get this all down before the rush of real life distracts me. I'm glad I've been able to share this year with those of you, friends and family alike, who seem to have enjoyed my hundreds of pictures and tens of blogs about Arielle...lol Here's to another year of interesting stories, pictures and a full life with the beautiful person that is my daughter.

Here she is diving into her cake...lol

Okay I absolutely love having my family here I really do. I want my parents to move here, not that I haven't said that to them a thousand times already but I still have to let it be known that my parents rock!

So they got here on Wednesday and after Arielle seems to love having them here too. She really does enjoy an audience so if there is an audience that gives her undivided attention (not to mention TWO big containers of new toys) then she's in heaven. She now has more Elmo stuff than I know what to do with and frankly my mom went overboard on the toys that make noise...I'm thisclose to calling her at 4 in the morning when she gets back and just play an Elmo toy over the phone as payback...LOL

Arielle's favourite thus far is the Elmo phone...it's a phone and it sounds like Elmo, her two favourite things! lol

I went to work yesterday for 8 hours which was weird, I haven't worked that long since I was about 5 months pregnant...lol My feet definitely had a few things to say about that when I got home. From the sounds of things Arielle had a blast with my parents, but she was still happy to see me when I got home so she hasn't forgotten me completely...lol I had a moment where I felt like I was 15 again, my dad dropped me off at work (Jonathan had our car :) and my mom made my lunch...boom I was a teenager again...haha

Today we are running some errands to pick up stuff for Arielle's first of two birthday parties. This Sunday is her party with my family at our house, next Sunday she gets a party with Jonathan's family at his grandparent's house...this is because Jonathan has a lot of family and they wouldn't all fit in our house...so thanks to his grandparents for the loan.

I'm going to go get ready while Arielle is sleeping just figured since I was somewhat inspired to write I would put a little blurb up so I'm not totally neglecting my blog...I'll try to write a fuller update after the dust has settled...just before it gets kicked up again in July when we fly to BC! :)

Here's my girl be ridiculously cute:

So I was thinking the other day...okay let me backtrack I was feeling guilty for not writing in my blog, for not working on a new story or at least working on stories I've already written and then it occurred to me that I wasn't getting ANYTHING done so I'm sucking it up and doing this one step at a time.

First step write a good blog entry...so here goes...wish me luck and I do the same for you cause I have no idea what's gonna come outta me in the next blurb...lol

So in the last month a few major things have happened. We finally moved into our new house and it is most definitely feeling like home now. We still have a few things to clean up and organize but it is vastly different and more improved than it was when we took possession. I love having my own house! I'm still rejoicing over the fact that I can do laundry whenever I want not worrying about tokens and dryers that don't shut off...it's honestly exhilarating...lol There's no one walking on my ceiling AND I have a dishwasher. Sure there's a yard to take care of and different expenses but frankly it's worth it, we were definitely done with apartment living! Onwards and forwards...speaking of...

I've also started back at work which was and is going quite well. I've gone back part time so I basically work about 18-20 hours a week give or take...it's a good set up; I work a couple of evenings, one weekday day and one weekend day so for the most part Jonathan can watch Arielle. Then for the one weekday I bring her over to spend some time with her friend Kai. (read: Krista babysits...lol) I'm at a new store so I had to get used to that although it hasn't been that hard of a transition. The staff is really quite welcoming (plus I've worked with my manager before so her way of running things is very familiar :) and I'm loving the fact that it is not a drive thru store. The hustle and bustle in a drive thru store greatly increases my stress, so I'm enjoying being able to focus on just one outlet for our wares as it were. :) I'm going to be going into a, hopefully, regular schedule after the hubub of summer dies down. Not that I'm complaining I love me some hubub, especially the upcoming kind.

Tomorrow my parents are coming over and I couldn't be more thrilled! I finally get to show them our house and they get to spend some time with Arielle. It's been four months and I'm pretty sure my mom is going through some major granddaughter withdrawal symptoms...this shouldn't happen again. I think we should see them every couple of months...or, you know...they should just move here...I'm only saying ;)

THEN on Saturday Julia comes out for a few days just to be here when Arielle turns one. Talk about your dedicated aunt!! Arielle's first birthday is this coming Monday and I can't believe how fast this past year has gone. It doesn't take much for me to remember when we found out we were pregnant, the first listen to her heartbeat and the first ultrasound and now BOOM she's one...it's been so fast and so precious and I'm so glad I live in a country that allows me the chance to take a whole year off of work to enjoy it.

Then in July right around my birthday, thanks to my very generous cousins, Jonathan, Arielle and I are flying out to BC to spend a week there with family...it's going to be so much fun. I'm interested to see how Arielle does with flying now and am not as scared of finding it out since I get to fly with Jonathan...that takes a lot of weight off of me...literally, cause then she can sit on his lap too...lol

So going into the next year I'm hoping to fall into some kind of routine. I'm going to enjoy Arielle as she continues on with all of her firsts...for example she can say 'more' and 'please' in sign language right now. For the most part she mimics me but she seems to really enjoy my positive reaction so I'm hoping for more comprehension into what she's actually saying...although that said I'm fairly certain she knows what 'more' means...lol Naps are WAY better than they were that I almost forget what it was like when she would only nap for 20 minutes...in fact her naps got better as she interacted more with the world around her. Nowadays we can go almost two and a half to three hours sometimes...It would be nice if we could go down to one 3 hour nap in the afternoon with her waking up at around 8 but I'm not gonna be completely unrealistic...lol

Anyway that's more of an update as to how life is going these days...ask questions if I missed something...it might prompt me to post another blog sooner...assuming you even like reading this...hahaha Here's a picture of Arielle being beautiful...as you can see she's working ever so hard at it :)

So we made it to moving day...and we're going to stretch moving day over two days mainly because we're doing a lot of the moving ourselves, which is fine, we just need to stretch it over two days then...lol So of course this morning Arielle wakes up with a fever, it's just barely a fever but it's still a fever so that kinda takes me out of the game in regards to moving. So, once again, my trooper of a husband is gonna do a lot of the moving alone...although our brother-in-law is coming out today to help him with some loads and is also going to put in out new toilet!

Yay for Derek...woot woot...yay for Joelle for lending us Derek...woot woot...lol Oh and my mother-n-law come out to help me with more packing last night so another yay for her! Woot woot...lol

The colour is decidedly WAY better in our house now. I feel like it's a place a can live whereas before it was more a place I wanted to bulldoze...haha

It really is so much fun taking a place and making it yours...I never thought it would be but once we started transforming that blue nightmare into a bit more of a nice dream it became way more fun. Now I'm constantly looking at it thinking of things we can improve. But one step at a time...first...move...which is what we're starting to do today...I should do some more packing while Arielle sleeps...although I'm almost done.

The kitchen is pretty much packed and cleaned except for the oven (gonna clean that after we move) and the fridge. Then as the boxes move out I can clean a bit more so that maybe over one long day (Thursday and/or Friday) I'll paint in the apartment do last minute cleaning and boom...outta here for good.

I'm going now here's a couple shots of the finished product before all of our stuff is moved in:

So we get possession of our house at noon this Friday. Part of me is so excited I can hardly stand it and the other part of me is in a bit of shock. It's amazing what has happened in the past three years. I met, dated, fell in love with and married the man of my dreams. I had three, count em, THREE weddings to celebrate this love. Got pregnant had a gorgeous baby girl who is almost one! Bought my first car. Bought my first house...whole hell of a lot of firsts going on since 2006...it's just insane!

I love it. I can't wait to paint our house and set it up...to have my OWN washer and dryer...not to have to hear people walking above me or dealing with weirdos yelling just outside my window...okay there may be weirdos but at least I have a fence to keep them off my yard...lol I know there is a whole lot of new stress that comes with home ownership, but I'm looking forward to new stress while shedding all the worn stress...lol

Arielle is just over ten and a half months old and I still can't believe it. I'm a few weeks away from going back to work and I'm kind of excited about it. Arielle doesn't know it but there's going to a bit of change coming her way in the next few weeks. At least she'll have me at home for a couple of weeks in the new house before I go back. Plus I'm only going back half time so that's just enough for me to get out of the house and her to interact with others while still giving us the chance to be together the predominate amount of time. I would miss her terribly if I had to go back full time.

I don't have a lot else to say so here's my little girl rocking a cute bow AND her favourite hat...lol

I put that title in my status on Facebook and then decided that since it's the last day in April I should put my own and only April post today and talk about how much I love being a mom. The statement started today when Arielle fell back and hurt her head so I pulled her onto my lap and rocked her then said I'd watch Sesame Street with her so she laid back against my chest grabbed her feet and started babbling with me while 'interacting' with the characters on Sesame Street. It was such a normal yet beautiful moment. I honestly thought 'I'm going to log this away to remember...' I have plenty of those moments...it was just I don't know clarifying I guess.

Specifically she's a wonderful kid she really is...she seems to learn things over night. Like for example just yesterday when I said 'Show Auntie Marie how you say bye-bye' she waved her hand with no prompting! Up until that point she would only wave after I waved it was so cute! lol She's also moving around much more now. She's still not actually traditionally crawling but she scoots on her bum all around. She definitely will get to where she wants to go but she's still very much like her mom; if something seems to far away she'll get frustrated if she can't get there fast enough...haha

I can't believe she's already 10 months old. I can remember specifically last year at this time being uncomfortable because my allergies were acting up and I couldn't breathe at night, trying to go to work and not cry every time I was there, starting to have my feet swell more and still trying to picture what life was going to be like with this little person...our daughter...in our lives. Sometimes it's surreal to me still. Like when Jonathan brings her into our room in the morning for her to nurse...she gets so excited she kicks her legs together like a mermaid (I see the irony with her name...lol). Then starts smacking her lips, she's knows what's coming...hahaha

In regards to nursing I'm planning to see how she deals with me going back to work and will probably introduce milk into her diet slowing trying to 'phase out' the breast feeding. I'm not a HUGE stickler about being done right when she's a year old. At the latest I would like to be done by the time she's 18 months but I've learned not to make absolute statements they always come back to bite me in the arse. I can assure you that I will definitely not be nursing her at 7 like I read about...honest :)

In short my daughter is a complete delight to me...I love being a mom, if I could afford to do this full time I would...however I can't and honestly am looking forward to going back to work but am glad I get to go back part time because I want to spend most of my time with Arielle. She's so much fun and I don't want to miss anything in her development, even if that means we don't have boatloads of extra money :) I mean really isn't she just cute??

Weird I get the urge to blog every now and again but then I'll open up a new post and for the life of me I can't figure out what to say so I close it up again...I figure I should at least have one post in the month of March so here goes...right now I'm listening to Arielle play with her new 'laptop' that daddy bought her. It's singing a blend of the same songs over and over again...mommy LOVES it ;) She loves to play in her play pen and sometimes will be in there for a half hour just talking to herself or reading her books...my smart girl :)

In the last month a few things have happened...Arielle went for her nine month appointment (she's actually nine months on Sunday :) and it turns out she's just about 21 pounds...and 29 inches...my tall girl. This was a no needle appointment so it wasn't as traumatic as the last couple although she deals pretty well with the needle. Speaking of appointments I have one tomorrow to get some nerve tests done on my wrists so that I can hopefully get some sort of treatment for my painful wrists. I'm a little apprehensive about the outcome but frankly they hurt to much for me to put it off any more.

We also FINALLY bought a house! And it's blue...Arielle is looking at a book in this colour to get used to the idea that her new house is blue. She is apparently more pleased with that than her parents are...lol Honestly this house is totally blue...very blue...so thankfully we are taking possession two weeks before we have to be out of our apartment so that we can paint before we move in. I just don't like the idea of living in a house with electric blue walls...I'm sure we'll take before and after pictures...in fact I know we will. Cause that's what I do...haha

We take possession on May 15th which is fast approaching. While I do want to move I do NOT want to pack...this is yet another time that I wish my parents were nearby...then mom could help me pack...which means she would entertain Arielle so I could focus...a job I'm sure she wouldn't mind at all...lol

Well this is a fairly mundane post...I just can't seem to feel that inspired or get my thoughts together to put anything more interesting for you guys to read...so bye bye...oh yeah PS...my 2 year anniversary is tomorrow...weird. :p

...and my heart is with Jonathan and Arielle so therefore I am home. That said, I wish the bodies that had my heart were in BC...but hey we can't have it all. Right now Arielle is sleeping like an angel. She seems to have adapted back to a Manitoba sleep schedule whereas I am still on BC time. I went to bed at 11 last night and felt disoriented and tired at 9 this morning...I'm hoping this will go away soon and figure it will. In the meantime I've got this new inspiration to be clean I'm not sure what that is about...lol Meaning I reorganized Arielle's room, including her closet and am hoping to get some rubber maid containers to properly organize our living room...I think it's my very early stages of packing for whenever we buy a house. :)

Now that we're home life is going to go back to normal...or at least however normal can be looked at. I'm creating lists in my head of things I have to do that keep me up at night...I figure I'll give myself one doable project a day and try not to overwhelm myself...we'll see how that goes. I really don't have much else to say right now so I'm posting. :)

Last night I went to my cousin Vicki's wedding and had an absolute blast. I also danced for maybe half an hour and my legs are killing me. I think it may be official that I'm old...another random and odd experience for me at the wedding, I was dancing and singing along to the song 'Low' by Flo Rida and the next song was 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees and I knew most of the words to both...talk about your generation jump...lol

Arielle was being watched by good friends of mine and she did...well...alright. This was the first time she's been babysat and put to bed by someone other than me or Jonathan. Apparently she could be calmed down a little and would be fine until she realized that I wasn't there. I think Becky was being nice by not telling me how long or loud she really cried but I completely trust her so if she was fine I'm fine and I really appreciated the night off. It's the longest I've been away from Arielle and I missed her a lot by the time I got home. She did manage to sleep well after she fell asleep so I'm happy that she didn't make Becky and Travis' time too horrible! lol

Today we hung out with Eric's parents and brother and pretty much did nothing else which is great because last night was tiring.

Arielle and I are having a lot of fun here but we still miss Jonathan. He talked to Arielle on the phone and she got so excited she was trying to grab the phone and kept looking around for him it was very cute! Now she's having a nap and the rest of the fam is done playing their game so I'm going to join them and watch CSI: Miami...mostly because I have to...Horitio Cane drives me NUTS!! lol