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...emotional that is...
I think I'm realizing my limits these days. It's basically becoming increasingly apparent to me that physically I am not able to do as much as I used to be able to do. I hate that...especially at work. I have this thing with putting in 110% when I work and I can't do that anymore...I don't like the word can't.
Like the last two days at work...high stress requiring more then just the norm from me and it just about did me in physically and emotionally. On Sunday a kid called in sick leaving me with a couple of trainees (who really stepped up to the plate mind you...they were great under the pressure) and me having to double bar. (Which means I have to make drinks for both cafe and DT) I can't double bar people...do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to reach down into a fridge and repetitively remove four litre jugs of milk for an extended period of time when you have little to no abdominal muscle? Yeah it's a pain...literally...but who else can do it when the trainee's are still getting used to taking orders let alone making them all properly.
Then yesterday...milk order...that is a number of crates of milk (4 four litre jugs per crate) that have to be unloaded into the fridge...while simultaneously training in DT and making sure that the new girl returning is okay on cafe. Too much...I don't have the mental capacity to remember if I locked the door let alone trying to juggle that at the same time. It just completely wears me out emotionally...let alone physically. And of course comes the time where I have to YET AGAIN double bar...can't do it people can NOT...but who else can...for whatever reason I was the only one who could do it...but I can't...yet I had to...yup let me tell you it is certainly more than difficult to be an outgoing personable barista when you want to cry and simultaneously say all of the swear words you can think of... :p
This morning I had an appointment with my midwife who told me that my body will let me know when I need to take it easy and it feels like my body is saying VERY loudly that I need to take it easy...I just don't like having to give less...it's totally worth it because I'd sacrifice anything for this baby...it's just a learning curve I suppose. I tend to fight these curves a bit...please don't tell me it gets worse after the baby is born...or that I should 'wait till later'...I'll deal with that when it happens...right now I'm just trying to make it through this week without crying every day for no reason. :P
Which brings me to another rant. I don't know why I'm ranting...I have z pent up something so I'm venting...lol My new rant is for the 'advice' that comes in waves from various sources. Now I do want to hear about other people's pregnancy experiences and how they felt as first time moms or heck moms in general. Honestly I think it's fascinating and helps me to realize I'm certainly not the first person to do this...good to know. What I get frustrated with is the 'you wait...' statements. For example when I first realized that bending over to tie my shoes wasn't exactly an option I got 'You wait till later...you're just going to get bigger.' Gee you think? I'm kinda just experiencing how big I am now so how about you just let me make my comments without telling me about somewhere I'm not...lol
I know I know, calm down and be gracious Sheri it's not that big of a deal. But it FEELS like a big deal...it's annoying. I hate being annoyed...which annoys me...LMAO Oh dear I think I'm on hormonal overload...HELP!!! :p
I think I'm realizing my limits these days. It's basically becoming increasingly apparent to me that physically I am not able to do as much as I used to be able to do. I hate that...especially at work. I have this thing with putting in 110% when I work and I can't do that anymore...I don't like the word can't.
Like the last two days at work...high stress requiring more then just the norm from me and it just about did me in physically and emotionally. On Sunday a kid called in sick leaving me with a couple of trainees (who really stepped up to the plate mind you...they were great under the pressure) and me having to double bar. (Which means I have to make drinks for both cafe and DT) I can't double bar people...do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to reach down into a fridge and repetitively remove four litre jugs of milk for an extended period of time when you have little to no abdominal muscle? Yeah it's a pain...literally...but who else can do it when the trainee's are still getting used to taking orders let alone making them all properly.
Then yesterday...milk order...that is a number of crates of milk (4 four litre jugs per crate) that have to be unloaded into the fridge...while simultaneously training in DT and making sure that the new girl returning is okay on cafe. Too much...I don't have the mental capacity to remember if I locked the door let alone trying to juggle that at the same time. It just completely wears me out emotionally...let alone physically. And of course comes the time where I have to YET AGAIN double bar...can't do it people can NOT...but who else can...for whatever reason I was the only one who could do it...but I can't...yet I had to...yup let me tell you it is certainly more than difficult to be an outgoing personable barista when you want to cry and simultaneously say all of the swear words you can think of... :p
This morning I had an appointment with my midwife who told me that my body will let me know when I need to take it easy and it feels like my body is saying VERY loudly that I need to take it easy...I just don't like having to give less...it's totally worth it because I'd sacrifice anything for this baby...it's just a learning curve I suppose. I tend to fight these curves a bit...please don't tell me it gets worse after the baby is born...or that I should 'wait till later'...I'll deal with that when it happens...right now I'm just trying to make it through this week without crying every day for no reason. :P
Which brings me to another rant. I don't know why I'm ranting...I have z pent up something so I'm venting...lol My new rant is for the 'advice' that comes in waves from various sources. Now I do want to hear about other people's pregnancy experiences and how they felt as first time moms or heck moms in general. Honestly I think it's fascinating and helps me to realize I'm certainly not the first person to do this...good to know. What I get frustrated with is the 'you wait...' statements. For example when I first realized that bending over to tie my shoes wasn't exactly an option I got 'You wait till later...you're just going to get bigger.' Gee you think? I'm kinda just experiencing how big I am now so how about you just let me make my comments without telling me about somewhere I'm not...lol
I know I know, calm down and be gracious Sheri it's not that big of a deal. But it FEELS like a big deal...it's annoying. I hate being annoyed...which annoys me...LMAO Oh dear I think I'm on hormonal overload...HELP!!! :p
i wish i had some really helpful advice to offer. just hugs, i suppose. virtual, at that.
take care
(i don't know why some people delight in saying it always gets worse. i'm still waiting, by the way, for the terrible monsters they are supposed to become at 2, 7, 12 and all the teens.)
All I can say is that it gets better. The hormones will settle down and you will feel like your old self-only better because you are a mom.