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So my wonderful daughter is three now and still in diapers. There's a part of me that actually feels like a failure. I know this is absolutely ridiculous (please tell me this is absolutely ridiculous!). I can't help it though I feel like this reflects on my ability to teach. However, I have to get over that because this training thing is not about me. I am just here to help her learn to do this. It is about her so I need to let it go and just let her be who she is. Honestly the person she is becoming is so amazing I don't know why I'm worried. She's going to learn to use the toilet I just need to give it time.
In fact, my frustrated rantings just make her more upset and more worried about pleasing me. This does not help her to relax and use the toilet. The other day she was wearing her bathing suit in the backyard without a diaper. She peed and just about flipped out. She acted as though she was going to be in trouble for peeing. Goodness she's in the backyard in a bathing suit and she's three...pretty sure everyone has done this. However, it gave me insight into how her mind is working. She is comfortable using the diaper. She knows how to use the diaper. The concept of using the toilet is foreign and scary. Put on top of that the fact that mom got frustrated when she peed on the floor I can see why the whole idea is terrifying.
So we are taking a step back. She is going to sit on the potty throughout the day. No pressure to do anything except sit on it. Just to become comfortable with the it. I'm going to praise her for trying. I'm going to tell her that I know she can do it and that it's okay to do it when she's ready. If she merely puts a little tinkle in the there then it's stickers and party's all around. If she goes in the diaper I'm going to say that this is okay and that I know she'll go on the potty when she's comfortable with it. This isn't about her trying to piss me off. She's not resisting using the toilet as some elaborate scheme to get me. It's new, she's scared and she wants to do it right. So I'm going to give her that opportunity.
She'll do it. In her time she will. And I'll be there with a song and dance when she does. Cause my kid is her own person and I'm not going to force her to be otherwise. My job is to help her be the best version of herself that she can be.
Now that I've written it down I'm going to read this when I get annoyed to remind myself of the overall goal here. :) Now I need to get make to working on my other postings. :)
In fact, my frustrated rantings just make her more upset and more worried about pleasing me. This does not help her to relax and use the toilet. The other day she was wearing her bathing suit in the backyard without a diaper. She peed and just about flipped out. She acted as though she was going to be in trouble for peeing. Goodness she's in the backyard in a bathing suit and she's three...pretty sure everyone has done this. However, it gave me insight into how her mind is working. She is comfortable using the diaper. She knows how to use the diaper. The concept of using the toilet is foreign and scary. Put on top of that the fact that mom got frustrated when she peed on the floor I can see why the whole idea is terrifying.
So we are taking a step back. She is going to sit on the potty throughout the day. No pressure to do anything except sit on it. Just to become comfortable with the it. I'm going to praise her for trying. I'm going to tell her that I know she can do it and that it's okay to do it when she's ready. If she merely puts a little tinkle in the there then it's stickers and party's all around. If she goes in the diaper I'm going to say that this is okay and that I know she'll go on the potty when she's comfortable with it. This isn't about her trying to piss me off. She's not resisting using the toilet as some elaborate scheme to get me. It's new, she's scared and she wants to do it right. So I'm going to give her that opportunity.
She'll do it. In her time she will. And I'll be there with a song and dance when she does. Cause my kid is her own person and I'm not going to force her to be otherwise. My job is to help her be the best version of herself that she can be.
Now that I've written it down I'm going to read this when I get annoyed to remind myself of the overall goal here. :) Now I need to get make to working on my other postings. :)
You are not a failure and the thought that you ever could be is simply ridiculous!!!!
This post is fantastic. I love that, even without trying, you and your daughter have communicated new ways to try and different ways to look at what's going on.
Deep breaths my dear - one day at a time - it will happen.
I love you so much Sheri :D And remember, whenever you want to freak out about anything, I think that you're ALWAYS absolutely ridiculous. That's why you fit in so well as a member of our family ;)
You are doing a great job! Letting her do it in her own time is the best way for her to learn and the healthiest.
Little anecdote: My mother has had serious digestive issues her entire life, and is pretty sure it all goes back to the potty training. My grandmother always bragged about how EARLY she had my mother toilet trained.
Keep the way you're going, and you'll both do great!