I've thought of writing an update on our potty training experience for some time now. There wasn't much to say since my last 'report'. We sort of stalled on the whole 'going' part so there wasn't much to do. I will admit it was getting very frustrating for me. I had no intention of changing a three year old 's diapers, in fact I was dead set against it. That won't be me! I don't understand why anyone would 'let' their child be in diapers for that long. Yeah I said all the condescending things you can think of because I didn't know. I didn't know my child.

Ever since the beginning my girl has been intent on doing it right. She won't attempt it until she's confident she can do it right. Starting from rolling over right to potty training she had to be certain and every time I'd get frustrated. Why wasn't she sitting up by herself yet? Why wasn't she crawling? How come it took her so long to walk? Why wasn't she talking yet? You'd think by this point I'd realize my kid has her own time table and that I can't impose mine on her. I can encourage her and teach her but I need to be patient that she'll get it when she gets it. She's such a perfectionist she beats herself up if she does it 'wrong'.

So potty training consisted of us talking about it every day. She'd follow me into the bathroom when I'd go (I'm a mom I can't even find privacy in the bathroom lol) we'd talk about it every time I'd change her and she seemed to mostly understand the concept but couldn't quite believe that she was capable of such a thing. I tried everything to get her to stay on the potty until she actually went. One morning I decided that getting her to sit on the potty in the morning, while she watched her morning cartoon, with her chocolate milk might be the most relaxed setting I could get her in so that she might actually go. Finally after a few mornings of trying she actually did go, very little, but she went and she was so proud of herself she wanted to try again later that day when she went some more. Then her next goal was keeping her pull-up dry for the afternoon and now she's trying to keep it dry all day. We still haven't reached that goal but at least she's trying. :)

I don't know how it happened honestly. Last week if you would have told me she'd be telling me she has to pee right now I'd have laughed at you. I was pretty convinced we'd be only having headway when she was ready for kindergarten. I'm slightly dramatic when it comes to these things and patience may be a virtue but I find it mostly a pain. So right now we have made great strides in our training. I find that every time I think I'm going to be teaching her something she ends up teaching me.

We are by no means done with training but I'm feeling a little bit more optimistic about not having to purchase diapers for a teenager ;)

So my wonderful daughter is three now and still in diapers. There's a part of me that actually feels like a failure. I know this is absolutely ridiculous (please tell me this is absolutely ridiculous!). I can't help it though I feel like this reflects on my ability to teach. However, I have to get over that because this training thing is not about me. I am just here to help her learn to do this. It is about her so I need to let it go and just let her be who she is. Honestly the person she is becoming is so amazing I don't know why I'm worried. She's going to learn to use the toilet I just need to give it time.

In fact, my frustrated rantings just make her more upset and more worried about pleasing me. This does not help her to relax and use the toilet. The other day she was wearing her bathing suit in the backyard without a diaper. She peed and just about flipped out. She acted as though she was going to be in trouble for peeing. Goodness she's in the backyard in a bathing suit and she's three...pretty sure everyone has done this. However, it gave me insight into how her mind is working. She is comfortable using the diaper. She knows how to use the diaper. The concept of using the toilet is foreign and scary. Put on top of that the fact that mom got frustrated when she peed on the floor I can see why the whole idea is terrifying.

So we are taking a step back. She is going to sit on the potty throughout the day. No pressure to do anything except sit on it. Just to become comfortable with the it. I'm going to praise her for trying. I'm going to tell her that I know she can do it and that it's okay to do it when she's ready. If she merely puts a little tinkle in the there then it's stickers and party's all around. If she goes in the diaper I'm going to say that this is okay and that I know she'll go on the potty when she's comfortable with it. This isn't about her trying to piss me off. She's not resisting using the toilet as some elaborate scheme to get me. It's new, she's scared and she wants to do it right. So I'm going to give her that opportunity.

She'll do it. In her time she will. And I'll be there with a song and dance when she does. Cause my kid is her own person and I'm not going to force her to be otherwise. My job is to help her be the best version of herself that she can be.

Now that I've written it down I'm going to read this when I get annoyed to remind myself of the overall goal here. :) Now I need to get make to working on my other postings. :)

One year, I’d completely lost my bearings trying to follow potty training instruction from a psychiatric expert. I was stuck on step one, which stated without irony: ‘Before you begin, remove all stubbornness from the child’.
Mary Kay Blakely


Wow this quote just about killed me. If anyone can figure out how to remove stubbornness from a child you just let me know. Mine is determined to go on the potty on her and only her terms. I'm not the type to be militant about milestones so my DD is approaching 3 still in diapers. I'm sure there are some of you shaking your heads or even worse heading to the comment section to give me a metric crapload (natch) of advice on how to potty train 'right'.


I'll stop you right now. I don't want it. I appreciate the sentiment and I'm sure it worked for your Johnny poop pants or Janey pee pee. That's all fine and good. I applaud you that your child was not only out of diapers at 14 months but giving lectures on how to use the potty by 16 months. I get it, you are superior at potty training. Feel free to take my kid and try and get her to actually use the toilet. Go ahead I dare you. If you manage to train her then I am proven wrong and absolved of the torture of training. Win win I say ;)


The sarcastic diatribe is not meant to offend anyone who has shared their potty training experience with me or offered advice it's just my frustrating way of saying NOTHING WORKS! LoL Here's what she will do. She'll sit on the potty quite happily most times. In fact she'll sit there for as long as half an hour. Then promptly pee in her diaper the moment it's on. I tried a morning of putting her in panties. She'd pee a little bit on the floor then sit on the potty half an hour, rinse (literally) repeat. I got sick of it after the third or fourth time following her around the floor trying to tell her to stop so I could mop up the pee from the floor, her legs and her feet. I was done then and the diaper went back on. After her nap it was so full it's was beyond disgusting.


I know I just have to push through. Stop right there. I won't, there is nothing worth me running after my kid mopping up her excrement. Not gonna happen. I do it anyway in the diaper, how is this any different? I have no issue with cleaning up an accident after she's done the training, but there has got to be a better way to actually just get her to GO on the toilet. She's never let anything leave her body into that toilet. Not once. I'm convinced that the moment she does a light will go on and we can go from there. (In that instance I'm not so opposed to cleaning up after her because I know she can do it) The trick is getting her to actually go, I'm fairly certain she's terrified. And if I get intense at ALL it will shut down all functions in the lower half of her body. If she has to perform to make me happy, she just won't. (I know I know it's like she's MY kid or something, I can hear you laughing mom! Quit it! :)


So I'm talking about it. She HATES having her diaper changed so I'm trying to explain (without exasperation whenever I can) that if she actually used the potty I wouldn't have to change her. She seems to somewhat comprehend that but doesn't actually do the deed! I'm considering letting her spend a day outside in nothing to get her used to some feelings without anything to hold her back. Just gotta remember to lather on the sunscreen...I fear she'll just tighten up and release the moment she has a diaper or underwear on. 


What is she so afraid of and how can I cure her of that? Scratch that don't answer, I don't want to know. Hmm I wonder where she gets her stubbornness from? ;)