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...okay so it's quite muggy and hot...but I wanted to sound optimistic.
It is so bizarre there are days when I have SO very much to say and then other days when I am at a loss for words. And I know that those of you who know me are wondering how in the heck I can be at a loss for words...I'm telling you people...LOSS for words.
Today is sort of in between...I'm kind of at a loss...but I want to put a post up so I'm just gonna start typing and we'll see what happens...oh wow!
So I was reflecting on something today. I just found out that my cousin is getting married in August. This is fantastic news because I know her fiance and I love him an I know that he just fits perfectly into her family...the thing is she is the youngest and I'm wondering how it is affecting her older sister. I know how much my sister's engagement affected me.
It's weird in retrospect I wouldn't have changed a thing. I'm so very glad that I got to wait to find my guy...but since I'm allowed to look back in retrospect then I could sound like I'm talking out of my arse. But people I'm still so very familiar with that feeling. The one where I felt like I was pitted against myself. There was part of me, the part that was so 100% supportive of my sister that was SO thrilled that she was getting married. Then there was the part of me that was jealous...just plain jealous.
It has to be said that it was never because my sister stuffed it down my throat. If anything she was overtly concerned about me. I just watched her with this man and desperately wanted that...and since it was my sister it was harder to brush aside. I knew the Lord had a man planned for me...I just had always assumed it would be before my sister. I mean isn't that the rule...oldest to youngest? Instead my sister got married, my brother was in a long term relationship and I had...no one.
I don't know how my cousin is dealing with her younger sister getting engaged, but knowing her personality I'm sure it's bothering her. I guess my message, if she wanted to hear it, would be to hold out and focus on her sister's happiness instead of her own disappointment. It worked for me...an unless you've gone through it, it's hard to relate. It's a tumultuous time that's for sure.
SO that was my ramble...did it make sense? Probably not, but I'm bloggin' yo...so I'm trying! :)
It is so bizarre there are days when I have SO very much to say and then other days when I am at a loss for words. And I know that those of you who know me are wondering how in the heck I can be at a loss for words...I'm telling you people...LOSS for words.
Today is sort of in between...I'm kind of at a loss...but I want to put a post up so I'm just gonna start typing and we'll see what happens...oh wow!
So I was reflecting on something today. I just found out that my cousin is getting married in August. This is fantastic news because I know her fiance and I love him an I know that he just fits perfectly into her family...the thing is she is the youngest and I'm wondering how it is affecting her older sister. I know how much my sister's engagement affected me.
It's weird in retrospect I wouldn't have changed a thing. I'm so very glad that I got to wait to find my guy...but since I'm allowed to look back in retrospect then I could sound like I'm talking out of my arse. But people I'm still so very familiar with that feeling. The one where I felt like I was pitted against myself. There was part of me, the part that was so 100% supportive of my sister that was SO thrilled that she was getting married. Then there was the part of me that was jealous...just plain jealous.
It has to be said that it was never because my sister stuffed it down my throat. If anything she was overtly concerned about me. I just watched her with this man and desperately wanted that...and since it was my sister it was harder to brush aside. I knew the Lord had a man planned for me...I just had always assumed it would be before my sister. I mean isn't that the rule...oldest to youngest? Instead my sister got married, my brother was in a long term relationship and I had...no one.
I don't know how my cousin is dealing with her younger sister getting engaged, but knowing her personality I'm sure it's bothering her. I guess my message, if she wanted to hear it, would be to hold out and focus on her sister's happiness instead of her own disappointment. It worked for me...an unless you've gone through it, it's hard to relate. It's a tumultuous time that's for sure.
SO that was my ramble...did it make sense? Probably not, but I'm bloggin' yo...so I'm trying! :)
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