So I started thinking about blog posts the other day. I do like blogging, it's kinda fun, but I don't want to just write quotes that my daughter says or talk about sad things. I know I had a list of stuff I wanted to talk about but every time I try to talk about one of those topics I come up blank.

Then one night when I couldn't sleep I started to think about things people say, don't as me why I was trying to fall asleep my mind was drifting. Anyway, this got me thinking of things people shouldn't say when they feel like they have to say something. Did you follow that? If you did you're either my mother, my sister or my best friend...lol Here's some examples; things people will say when they find out your single and over 25. Or how about what people say when they find out your pregnant? Or when you have a newborn? Or when you miscarry? First married, especially if you are married after 25. I've heard a lot of platitudes when 'I'm sorry' would do, and a ton of one-upping. Then I thought I couldn't be the only one so I figured I'd write about my experience with these things. You know get the topic out in the open.

However I need to get something out there first. I am in no way meaning to insult or pick on anyone in particular. If you recognize that you've said something like this to me in the past please know I'm not holding any kind of ridiculous grudge. These posts are more meant to be taken satirically not as some sort of editorial on my friends or family. If you have supported me through anything I love you, I know where your heart was and I took what you said in that vein. I promise. Also I'll be writing my extreme reactions, because I've found people to be amused by these, I'm more looking to amuse...haha

I don't know if that was a disclaimer or a chance to show how long winded I can be, either way if you read it and thought 'get to the point already' I'd advice proceeding with caution. I can find a rabbit trail where no rabbit has gone before. ;)

So I'll start with the stuff I heard when people found out I was in my late twenties and *gasp* single. I'll lead up to things that relate to the title of my blog. Stuff I heard when I was pregnant, stuff I heard when I had a newborn, breastfeeding 'advice' and don't even get me started on some of the 'interesting' things I was told after my miscarriage. Downside to wearing your heart on your sleeve? There's more people who know about your life, therefore more people who think they have a say in it.

I did already write a blogpost about being single so I'll try to keep this short...key word, try.

As a married person I try not to do some of the stereotypical things designed to 'help' someone who is single. The idea being that the single person is sad, alone, desperate and obviously not at all content in their life. To that I cry bulls***. A single person can be content, happy and completely at peace while still having the desire to find a mate. Really, truly they can. I got sick of the idea that I was half a person looking to become whole. I was and am a whole and complete individual who is complimented by my husband, not completed by him. To further that there really are those who are perfectly happy to go through their lives single. Don't try to delve into their psyche to find that they are hiding this deep desire to get married and have kids. Sometimes they really and truly do not want this and you know what even if deep down they actually do, what they are saying to you is it's none of your damn business. If someone tells me they are happy being single I believe them, unless they are looking for some kind of advice for me then I'll take it at face value. Some people do not want to be analyzed, I know it's shocking, but it's also true.

Some platitudes I heard that I assume were designed to make me feel better about my utterly sad state of singleness were; you just have to find the right place to look. Or I had an aunt who was single till she was 50 then she found the perfect guy and they are blissfully happy. (Replace aunt with, friend, cousin or sister's roommates best friend's mom...everyone has a story about someone who got married well past the marrying age. Word of advice, no single person wants to hear about them. Seriously they don't, so if you feel the urge to tell them...stop.) Now sometimes a single person is actually looking for advice, they come to you wondering how you did it or if you have someone you with whom you can set them up. If this is the case fire away the advice and help them out. I'm not saying all single people don't want help and to put it ironically I hated being set up, but that's how I met my husband. Go figure. :p



I digress. I think the theme of pretty much any or all of these rants is going to be that we need to support each other through our struggles. Not hide under some platitude that you don't mean or feel like you have to say or try to make your life sound worse. No more platituding (I made up a word!) or one upping...try it sometimes, think before you say something to someone. Would you want it said to you? Really there are days when it's hard being single and there are days when it's very freeing. Support, do not judge people, I can't stress that enough...lol

**sidenote** Another bit of irony I'm suggesting think before you speak mostly because it's a daily struggle for me to do so. Sometimes I actually do this, most times I don't. What is the saying? You find annoying that which you do the most, or something like that. :)

Next up, pregnancy platitudes and one-ups...this one is fun :)