|
...not anyone a thing...a pretty big thing and not something I thought I'd mourn but I am. I'm not going to get a 'one day everyone can come celebrate big' wedding. I gotta say I'm sad about that. Yeah sure I'm very understanding of the circumstances surrounding my situation and maybe I allowed myself to be deluded into thinking that a big wedding would be possible, but I can't help it. I've waited a long time for this guy, I wanted to celebrate with everyone who mattered...at once.
Now the alternatives are just fine, I'll live with them, my ultimate goal is to be married to him at the end of the day and that is a garuntee so it's not about that. I thought about doing a two part wedding (ceremony in my parents province major reception here where his family is) at the beginning and there were some good suggestions about how to go about that. However, I got caught up in being a bride and all the things that go with it. Including planning one day, in one place, with everyone who matters. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. No bride former or future is going to deny me wanting that.
However, comments have been made about how I should have stuck to the two wedding plan and then it wouldn't be so bad. I understand that the bearer of the comment is just trying to lighten my stress and emotional strain and I appreciate that, but it's not that simple. I can't plan around my dad's situation. I found out a couple of key pieces of information from the point of booking the place for my 'one day' and now when I'm deciding on the two days. These decisions are not easy and I'm sorry to all the women out there that I know who were once brides, you can't relate to my situation. You can't...at all...it's so damn unique that the only thing we have in common is the fact that at the end of the day I'll be a wife just like you.
Basically I tried, once again, to do things like everyone else around me and I realized, once again, that I can't. I have never been able to, there has always been a reason for every 'normal' major occurance in someone's life to be different for me. High school grad...the years immediately following...dating...rebelling...College grad...falling in love and now our wedding. I'm different, it's a fact and most of the time I'm comfortable with that and just choose to go with the flow of the situation because what other choice do I have?
So maybe I'm not really in mourning...maybe I'm just in a deep sense of the realistic. My life is just gonna be different from the norm. I'll just have to enjoy the ride.
Now the alternatives are just fine, I'll live with them, my ultimate goal is to be married to him at the end of the day and that is a garuntee so it's not about that. I thought about doing a two part wedding (ceremony in my parents province major reception here where his family is) at the beginning and there were some good suggestions about how to go about that. However, I got caught up in being a bride and all the things that go with it. Including planning one day, in one place, with everyone who matters. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. No bride former or future is going to deny me wanting that.
However, comments have been made about how I should have stuck to the two wedding plan and then it wouldn't be so bad. I understand that the bearer of the comment is just trying to lighten my stress and emotional strain and I appreciate that, but it's not that simple. I can't plan around my dad's situation. I found out a couple of key pieces of information from the point of booking the place for my 'one day' and now when I'm deciding on the two days. These decisions are not easy and I'm sorry to all the women out there that I know who were once brides, you can't relate to my situation. You can't...at all...it's so damn unique that the only thing we have in common is the fact that at the end of the day I'll be a wife just like you.
Basically I tried, once again, to do things like everyone else around me and I realized, once again, that I can't. I have never been able to, there has always been a reason for every 'normal' major occurance in someone's life to be different for me. High school grad...the years immediately following...dating...rebelling...College grad...falling in love and now our wedding. I'm different, it's a fact and most of the time I'm comfortable with that and just choose to go with the flow of the situation because what other choice do I have?
So maybe I'm not really in mourning...maybe I'm just in a deep sense of the realistic. My life is just gonna be different from the norm. I'll just have to enjoy the ride.
I wanted you to have one big wedding too, hun. Sorry if I sounded insensitive. My 'Folkers' logic is not always as empathetic as I would like.
Everything in your life certainly does defy normality. It's like your life and 'normal' are opposite sides of a magnet and seem to repel each other all the time.
Who knows... miracles can still happen, right? Maybe we can coax one out for you here...
LoL...yeah sometimes logic defies empathy...it's all good.
I like the magnet analogy...I mean I don't like it half the time but that makes sense to me...polar opposites me and normal are! :p
Right miracles...I still believe in miracles...I do...sort of...yeah...miracles. :p Maybe we can...it might be fun. :)
i'd love to hear all of this story, as well. what i would LIKE to say, is, do what you want and don't listen to the comments people might make, but i don't know your situation or anything so maybe "do what you want" is really insensitive and really bad advice.
may there be joy in all this planning, somewhere. i know there will be on the day... you'll look back and realize that not much matters besides the vows.
Thanks Michele I'd love to tell you the story sometime. It's a long one so there should be coffee involved. lol
Actually that is good advice in the sense that I tend to think about how everyone around me is feeling I neglect what I want...unfortunately what I really want it out of the realm of possibility.
You're right though...end of the day the vows are all that matters. :) Thanks.