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You know sometimes it sucks NOT being normal. Sometimes it just really blows goats that my life can't fall under some realm of normality. My mom seems to think that there is some normalcy what with me falling in love with and wanting to marry this man. That's normal, a lot of people do that.
If only it were that simple.
I just don't understand some thought processes sometimes. I just don't. They leave me with a dry mouth and a rather large headache. I'm dealing with a new family who looks at the world differently than I do. I most assuredly do NOT want to devalue their view or trash talk the difference, however the fact remains they view the world differently. Here's lowdown:
For my whole life I have viewed family, geographically, in a broad spectrum. For as long as I can remember most of my extended family has lived in other provinces even in the states. When I think about visiting anyone in my family it always includes flying or major travel. It just always has, so when I think about a family get together or family event, say a wedding, I instantly think 'okay where do I have to fly'. It doesn't occur to me that there is a price for the flight because to me seeing that family member does not have a price tag. I just don't think about it.
Since I was 18 the geography of my family life was even more immediate when I moved to BC, a number of provinces away from my parents. Now I live in MB, my sister lives in BC and my parents and brother live in ON. Any kind of family anything includes travel and as far as I can remember the price of travel was never the issue, merely the time available to make the trip. So I don't have a space in my mind for family members who spend extended amounts of time harping about paying for a trip. I understand that the resources are not there sometimes and that money is tight. I totally get that, my dad hasn't been making money for almost four years and I was a student for three years and sometimes lived off my credit card. Yet, still a flight, anywhere, to be involved with my family always made it on my priority list. Even if I had to eat Kraft dinner for a month to afford it.
Again I do not want to disrespect anyone because they do not think like I do. That is narrow minded and I do not want to consciously do that. I love and respect anyone who is connected to my future husband and I don't want there to be any miscommunication about that. I know that I also need to move out of my mindset that everyone has to think like me. How can someone think like me if they have not lived my life?
Therefore I fall back on the desire to be 'normal'. If only...because then maybe some of these issues would not even be present. I also wouldn't be me at all and I kinda like me, so I'm torn...do I embrace my uniqueness to the detriment of relationship...do I ignore my uniqueness to be understood in relationship...or is there a plan C that I am missing?
Anyone?
If only it were that simple.
I just don't understand some thought processes sometimes. I just don't. They leave me with a dry mouth and a rather large headache. I'm dealing with a new family who looks at the world differently than I do. I most assuredly do NOT want to devalue their view or trash talk the difference, however the fact remains they view the world differently. Here's lowdown:
For my whole life I have viewed family, geographically, in a broad spectrum. For as long as I can remember most of my extended family has lived in other provinces even in the states. When I think about visiting anyone in my family it always includes flying or major travel. It just always has, so when I think about a family get together or family event, say a wedding, I instantly think 'okay where do I have to fly'. It doesn't occur to me that there is a price for the flight because to me seeing that family member does not have a price tag. I just don't think about it.
Since I was 18 the geography of my family life was even more immediate when I moved to BC, a number of provinces away from my parents. Now I live in MB, my sister lives in BC and my parents and brother live in ON. Any kind of family anything includes travel and as far as I can remember the price of travel was never the issue, merely the time available to make the trip. So I don't have a space in my mind for family members who spend extended amounts of time harping about paying for a trip. I understand that the resources are not there sometimes and that money is tight. I totally get that, my dad hasn't been making money for almost four years and I was a student for three years and sometimes lived off my credit card. Yet, still a flight, anywhere, to be involved with my family always made it on my priority list. Even if I had to eat Kraft dinner for a month to afford it.
Again I do not want to disrespect anyone because they do not think like I do. That is narrow minded and I do not want to consciously do that. I love and respect anyone who is connected to my future husband and I don't want there to be any miscommunication about that. I know that I also need to move out of my mindset that everyone has to think like me. How can someone think like me if they have not lived my life?
Therefore I fall back on the desire to be 'normal'. If only...because then maybe some of these issues would not even be present. I also wouldn't be me at all and I kinda like me, so I'm torn...do I embrace my uniqueness to the detriment of relationship...do I ignore my uniqueness to be understood in relationship...or is there a plan C that I am missing?
Anyone?
I'm not sure if this qualifys as "plan C" but here's a random thought. Play devil's advocate with the extended and see how they respond. Put them in your situation and pose the question "So would you make an effort and expend some costs, or is (place favorite family member name here) not worth traveling to see? If you do not see (name) at that time, how long would you wait to see them if they cannot see you or it is your turn to make the effort and travel?
Just a thought. Not sure if it helps... Chromedomie
p.s. normal is not all its cracked up to be, I like your uniqueness.
If I have no other helpful thought to offer I definately second the motion to retain your uniqueness! I believe blessed are those who do not lead a normal life as it them who are able to find peace in any storm and strength in any battle. To add, it is also these people who have to use their blessing to enlighten those not so fortunate to have an open view and flexibility. Trying as it is.