There's something about my mom that just brings all kinds of comfort. It's gotta be in my genetic make up to just feel peace whenever I'm around her. Even when we are both in turmoil I still feel a sense of comfort when I'm near her. She is my mother after all, her voice calms me and when she hugs me it's like just for that moment I find peace. It brings me a lot of relief to see her because I feel responsible for her, just a little bit.

It happened naturally, my dad had to go so until he can return I feel it's my job to make sure she's okay. Not stopping my life or anything but definitely putting her in the foremost of my mind a lot of the time. I would have moved in with her when he went in except that she wouldn't let me. I thank her for that because I wouldn't have met Jonathan then and that would have been bad. Everything works out they way it should and in the midst of it all my mom brings me comfort.

Aspects of the Christmas season used to bring me comfort and now they are causing me just a bit of pain. I think about traditions that have come down in our family over the years and it will be very weird not having them happen this year. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being six just waiting to find out what's under the tree. Living in a protected world, not knowing the terrors that are out there.

See now I just want my mom. Silly isn't it?